The Yaoi and Yuri Game!
by Ale-Bloody-Roses
Summary: The long awaited (hopefully) round 7! Twists and turns! Lots of stuff like that! And so much humour that I can't write a decent summary! Please read and review, and hopefully chuckle. Kuroneko is watching you.
1. Round 1: Who's With Who?

The Yaoi and Yuri Game!!!  
  
Authoress's Note: For those of you who love yuri/yaoi, hate it, or just knows it exists this game is perfect for you! I don't  
own any of the charecters and for the sake of organization purposes   
Everyone who knows me: YOUR ACTUALLY ORGANIZING SOMETHING ALE??? *they all faint*  
Yes...yes I am...but either way for the sake of that most of these things will be Yaoi (gay). Since for some reason it's   
easier to keep track of those and if I had a whole bunch of both then I would be hopelessly lost and trying to bum rides and   
places to stay for the night from my victims...contestants...Also because I know they will complain of my bizarre pairings  
I will host, but the host isn't there all the time just there to explain things every now and then and bop the annoying ones  
on the head!  
Yes this story is for all people! Who are of proper age/ muturity! ^_^ Read and review! Roses are nice   
-Love Peace and Mushrooms-  
Ale  
  
P.S. Don't worry there's pro homosexuality as well as bashing some homosexual relationships into the ground because it was a  
too bizarre pairing in the first place! WAHAHAHAHA  
  
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Techno music with a lot of bass guitar in it starts playing as the lights turn on to reveal a game show set with many many  
put into a semicircle,just barely enough room for two each loveseats and one armchair at the middle back of the semicircle.  
The host walks out in an all black outfit and hair pulled back into a ponytail as she sits down in the chair the audience  
appluads. (Not by choice)  
  
Host: Thank you! Gracias! I'm your hostess with the creamy filling Ale! and welcome y bienvenidos to The Yaoi and Yuri Game!  
  
Audience: The what?? *they all sweatdrop and some fidget in their seats*  
  
Host: Since we couldn't find a partner...or tell it's gender for that matter... we shall have Kuroneko come out and force  
enthusiasim out of all of you! *Grins* Here kitty!  
  
Kuroneko: *comes out and stares at the audience* NYAO!  
  
Audience: AHHH! SCARY CAT! *they all start appluading wildly*   
  
Host: Well before we meet our contestants and see who's with who for the course of the game let me explain the way it works!  
Every episode we'll be watching our yaoi and yuri odd couples and see how they are faring with each other! Then you the   
audience gets to vote for your favorites and what you think should be the group challenge! Group challenges will help for  
a couple to gain the pacifier of safety! *Hold up a black painted pacifier* If they win this they get to go on to the next  
round! At the end of all this hullabalu the last couple left standing will win! Tell them what they win Bobby Adam the  
announcer!  
  
B.A: They win...A brand new car! Oh wait...wrong game show... The lucky winning couple win starring roles in a parody fan fic  
filled with same sex goodness! They also win one bodyguard each to use however they so please! These bodyguards are highly  
trained in the art of fan beating away!  
  
Host: *rubs her head* Yeah and a certain announcer should of warned me about that before they let me know where some of my  
favorite bishounen are!  
  
B.A.: Heh heh...*gulp*   
  
Host: So let's bring the couples out by show! Yes and I chose them to be weird so that none of them would have an unfair  
already a favorite coupling advantage! Our first show is...Yuu Yuu Hakusho!  
  
Yuu Yuu Hakusho's opening theme song plays as a line of it's characters line up in the shadows. You can hear them grumbling  
or planning sabotage already.  
  
Host: Now these pairings are a complete surprise to them too so let's get started! Our first couple is Keiko and Botan!  
Representing one of the few yuri couples in this game!  
  
Keiko and Botan sit down in one of the love seats next to the arm chair and look confused at the host.  
  
Keiko: But I'm Yusuke's girlfriend...  
  
Botan: And they look so cute together!  
  
Host: I know I know! But you, Shizuru, and Yukina are the only main girls in Yuu Yuu Hakusho. Shizuru would singe all my  
clothes with her cigarette if I made her do this and Hiei would kill me if I used Yukina. Don't worry usually you don't have  
to do anything...unless the audience wants you to! Right folks??  
  
Audience: YAY! *cheering*  
  
Botan and Keiko: O_O...If you say so...  
  
Host: Trust me! Next we have Kurama and Karasu!  
  
Everyone including host: *GASP*   
  
Host: Hey I didn't write this one! Who got into my cards?? This isn't right it just isn't *leaps behind her chair after an   
expolsive blows up in front of it* Yi!  
  
Karasu: It's just the way things were meant to be...*drags Kurama whoose kicking and yelling for help to a loveseat and sits  
down*  
  
Kurama: You lay one finger on my hair and I vow I will kill you!  
  
Host: *gets back in her chair* Bad news Kurama but good news too...No one is allowed to kill anyone during the course of the  
show...Sorry but you all signed a contract...*shrugs at the sound of most of the contestants groaning*  
  
Karasu: *Now running his fingers through Kurama's hair* It looks so lovely but with all the seeds and roses you keep in it  
your beautiful hair needs treatment Kurama...  
  
Kurama: *winces* Can I "accidently" just hurt him?  
  
Host: *winks* sure!  
  
Kurama pretends to yawn and hits Karasu on the back of the head.  
  
Kurama: Oops so sorry! Really!  
  
Host: I sense some big problems with this game already...OH WELL! All the more twisted all the more fun! Two more for this  
show...Let's bring out Yusuke and Kuwabara! *They silently go to a loveseat and throw death glares at the host*  
  
Yusuke: I agreed to this because of the body guard prize...  
  
All contestants (even ones not shown yet): SAME!  
  
Host: Thank god for the no killing anyone on the show rule...And last but not least Hiei and Koenma.  
  
Hiei: *grabs his katana and slices into one of the arms of the hosts's armchair as he goes into his loveseat with Koenma* Hn.  
  
Koenma: Are you POSITIVE that Hiei signed the contract too??? *sweatdrops*   
  
Hiei: I did. *Glares at the host* She gave me sweet snow to do this show otherwise I would of sliced her head off for telling  
me about this...  
  
Host: Aren't Hiei and Kurama the greatest??? *starry eyed* And it was either that or Hiei would be with Kuwabara and Yusuke  
with Koenma.  
  
Everyone: *falls to the ground then go back in their seats*  
  
Host: And now for the last show...Trigun!   
  
Audience: *appluase and a couple people swing donuts in the air screaming* WE LOVE VASH THE STAMPEDE!!  
  
Host: Since you mentioned it let's bring out the first couple! Vash The Stampede and Knives Millions! *they go to their love  
seat and Vash grabs the donuts his fangirls offered him on the way*  
  
Vash: *chomping on donuts* Why did I get paired with my brother? Isn't that twincest?  
  
Audience: TWINCEST WHORES TWINCEST WHORES TWINCEST WHORES!!  
  
Host: SILENCE! No Jerry Springer'ing...yet... And I did it to see if you two could survive having to be together for the  
length of the game! I already mentioned that these couples were odd didn't I? *starts floating in the air* Legato! You signed  
the contract too! *gets dropped back down and lands in Knives's lap*  
  
Knives: *death glares at the host and pushes her off* Insolent spider...  
  
Host: Our next couple...*brushes dust off and goes back to her chair* Is Nicholas D. Wolfwood and Legato Bluesummers!?!?  
Oh wait it was either that or Legato and Midvalley the hornfreak...poor blue haired bishie...  
  
Legato: *looks at knives sadly as he goes to sit down* Did I have to play master??  
  
Knives: If I have to do this you have to do this too Legato!  
  
Legato: Yes master...  
  
Wolfwood: This isn't right...I'll have to use my portable confessional a month straight after this...couldn't I be paired   
with Milly instead?  
  
Host: Ahem...*points to sign in giant neon letters* It says "The Yaoi and Yuri Game", sorry Wolfwood but you having Milly  
wouln't be fair to the others.  
  
Kurasu: My pairing is perfectly fair...*buries his face in Kurama's hair and coughs out a seed*  
  
Kurama: Dear hostess pray that I cannot find out where you live once the game is over.  
  
Host: Will the death threats never cease??  
  
Audience: Yup.  
  
Host: Damn it! Only two more couples left...next up is the last yuri couple: Milly and Meryl!  
  
Milly: But we're good friends! Not a yuri couple!   
  
Meryl: How you ever dragged me from my work to here I do not know!  
  
Vash: Hi girls! *grins a giant grin at them*  
  
Milly: Hello Mr. Vash! Hello Mr.Knives! Hello Mr.Legato! Hello Mr.Nicky! Hello Mr. Yusuke! *continues until she said hello  
to everyone*  
  
Meryl: Baka! This is you fault isn't it Vash?  
  
Vash: Awe Meryl you can't stay mad at me...^_^  
  
Meryl: WATCH ME! *death glare*  
  
Vash: Love and Peace! Love and Peace!  
  
Knives: SHUT UP! *bops his brother on the back of the head*  
  
Host: ^_^;; Our last couple is...Midvally the Hornfreak and ....crap I forgot to find another person for Midvalley! umm...  
Kuroneko! Yeah! *sweatdrops and laughs nervously* Midvalley and Kuroneko...  
  
Midvalley and Kuroneko go into a loveseat and stare oddly at each other.  
  
Midvalley: Ok I know I'm horny but I don't do beastality!  
  
Host: Who said you had to have sex? Besides I doubt anyone out there wants to see that.  
  
Audience member: I DO!  
  
Host: You don't get to review! Or send an email! No beastality I forbid it!  
  
Knives: Yet twincest is ok?  
  
Host: There's no cest you two are just paired up for the game! Your all very very lucky that I'm leaving your fates mainly   
up to the reviewers!!! VERY LUCKY!  
  
Knives: Pshaw, whatever Girlfriend...talk to da hand 'cuz the face ain't listening bioyatch! *stares at his now in the air  
hand* Evil evil evil spider! Why did you make me do that???  
  
Host: To show you that I can twist your wills if I so choose...*smiles sweetly* So now for the quick safety challenge!  
*snaps fingers and bowls of pudding appear in front of everyone* The first couple to spoon feed their partner wins!  
  
Contestants: O_O...That's all??  
  
Host: Yes I'm being nice...FOR THIS ROUND! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Ready set go!  
  
No one does anything and just stare blankly at the host.  
  
Host: If you win your immune from this round's voting and remember the bodyguard prize!  
  
Karasu: So if we win we're guarnteed to be able to stay with our partner for at least another round?  
  
Host: well...yeah.  
  
Karasu: Open up for the choo choo train Kurama! *tries to shove a spoonful of pudding into Kurama's mouth*  
  
Kurama: MMM MMM! *shakes his head violently and keeps his mouth tightly shut*  
  
Karasu: *pulls on Kurama's hair* Come on now...  
  
Kurama: OW! *gets pudding shoved into his mouth* damn you...mmm...butterscotch!  
  
Karasu: Want more love?  
  
Kurama: look a fly! *thwacks Karasu on the head*  
  
Host: Well it looks like...hey wait both of Milly's and Meryl's bowls are empty!! Any confessions you two?  
  
Meryl: No. She ate it all 5 seconds after it appeared.  
  
Milly: You like butterscotch too! It's nummy!  
  
Host: Um..ok..*stuffs the pacifier of safety in Karasu's hand* you and Kurama are safe for this rounds voting! I'm so sorry  
Kurama! *gives him a hug in pity and glares at Karasu* never touch my stuff again bomb freak!  
  
Karasu: WAHAHAHAHA! *strokes Kurama's hair* My lovely Kurama...mine...  
  
Kurama: Pray REALLY REALLY HARD that I don't find out where you live after this show hostess. *eye twitches and he bonks  
Karasu away. He then holds his head protectively*  
  
Host: Ok well that's our first round and now to wait for the reviewers to decide your fates! Vote for the couple or couples  
you want gone! You can't vote for all of them at once. They are:  
  
Keiko and Botan  
Milly and Meryl  
Wolfwood and Legato  
Knives and Vash  
Yusuke and Kuwabara  
Hiei and Koenma  
Midvalley and Kuroneko  
Kurama and Karasu (IMMUNE THIS ROUND)  
  
Vote now! And now all of our contestants shall retreat to their shared hotel rooms, but as I failed to mention earlier the  
winner of the pacifier get a two bed bedroom and cattle prod just in case they need to keep their partner out of their bed  
anyways.  
  
Kurama: Thank you.  
  
Host: No problem! We have cameras set up everywhere so on the next show we'll see how you spend the time with each other and  
you won't see me again until the next safety challenge!  
  
Contestants: YAY!  
  
Host: I'm hurt...  
  
Hiei: Not as much as you will be after the game ningen. *waves his katana at her*  
  
Host: Yi!   
  
Midvalley: You didn't get stuck with the cat! *sticks out his tongue at the cat*  
  
Kuroneko: Nyao.  
  
Host: Retreat to your rooms now! This is the Yaoi and Yuri Game saying goodnight and love bites! Either physically or   
emotionally it's up to you! ^_^ You can also suggest safety challenge ideas! This is great no?  
  
Contestants: NO! goodnight! *they all head off to their hotel rooms grumbling or swearing revenge*  
  
B.A.: Tonight's game was brought to you by red markers Inc.! For when you need to fake a nasty injury turn to us at Red  
Markers Inc.! Goodnight everyone!  
  
Credits roll and they show a scene of everyone entering the hotel lobby.  
  
Kurama: They gave me the cattle prod already *smiles*  
  
Karasu: What does it do anyways lovely?  
  
Kurama: This. *electricutes Karasu*  
  
Karasu: *coughs up a puff of smoke* Oh...  
  
--------------------------------------------  
  
Hope your enjoyed round one! Make sure to vote and remember that (unfortunately) Kurama and Karasu are immune to this round's  
voting! Also you vote for THE ONES YOU WANT GONE you can vote for more than one couple just not all of em! Until next round  
(where you honestly won't see me except for the quick intro the ending and the safety challenge) where you can see how our  
lovely couples are faring with each other, see ya!  
-Love Peace and Mushrooms-  
Ale 


	2. Round 2: First Night Jitters

The Yaoi and Yuri Game  
  
Authoress's Note: I don't own the anime chararecters. And I replaced last show's announcer Bobby Adam with the spunky hyper  
girl Jane Mari! Fear her hyperness...thank goodness the announcer only has a few lines, anyone want her job? Your welcome to  
it...  
  
THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR LOVELY REVIEWS, SUGGESTIONS, AND ESPECIALLY THE VOTES! They were greatly appreciated (I got so many!  
I feel so loved!!!) and they were needed. Why? Because it's your job to vote couple off not mine! The couple that lost in  
the voting is....you have to read to find out!  
  
ENJOY!   
  
Random Audience Member: So will this show be any good?  
  
Host/Authoress: *glares* Shiri massen... (japanese is fun! No that's not the translation...)  
  
-------------------------------  
  
Round 2: The first night and day, for lack of a better name...  
  
  
You see the hostess on a stool dressed up in her all black outfit again smiling at the camera.  
  
Host: I'm your delightful creme filled hostess...  
  
Audience Member: That's the stuff!  
  
Host: AHHH! No not copyright infringement nooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ahem. Anyways to get the show started we're   
going to show what happened on the contestant's first night...from our cameras hidden in their room!!! MUAHAHAHA!  
  
Jane Mari: HEE HEE! That's so dirty! Our show is brought to you by Jarritos Jr.! The best soda in the world now made for the  
wee iddle widdle babies!  
  
Host: *eye twitches* Must not kill perky one...must remember the damn contract...*growls* ROLL THE BEAUTIFUL FOOTAGE!  
  
The screen goes blank and then you can see the inside of a hotel room. In one corner Midvalley is playing his saxophone very  
loudly and in the other Kuroneko is holding it's ears in pain and "nyao"ing.  
  
Midvalley: I'll show you! Never take the complimentary mint again!  
  
Kuroneko: NYAO NYAO NYAO NYAO! *runs up and scratches Midvalley's nose making him stop playing* Nyao.  
  
Midvalley: Damn cat...stupid hostess not finding me a decent partner...*starts grumbling while he goes to the bathroom to  
clean his scratches*  
  
The screen fizzles out and shows a different room that has a teen form Koenma bouncing up and down on the bed. Hiei is glaring  
at him from his seat on the end of the bed. His eye twitches each time Koenma bounces.  
  
Koenma: WHEEE! Hiei stop being grumpy and try bouncing! It's great fun you'll actually enjoy it! *starts doing flips*  
  
Hiei: Baka royal brat...I thought pacifiers were supposed to shuta baby up not make it talk more. *glares*  
  
Koenma: Er...Hiei I thought when people were shorter they usually were more brighter dispositioned...*keeps bouncing*  
  
Hiei: I AM NOT SHORT! Grrrr...*shows his fangs at Koenma who stops bouncing and sits down in a chair in the hotel room desk*  
  
Koenma: Heh...I'll sleep in this thing tonight then...goodnight Hiei! *pretends to drift off to sleep*  
  
Hiei: Hn. *goes under the covers and actually falls asleep*  
  
Koenma: *very quietly to himself* I'm doomed... -_-;;  
  
The lights go off in their room and now a different hotel room is seen. Kuwabara and Yusuke glaring at each other from the  
left and right side of the bed, respectively.  
  
Kuwabara: So if we stay quiet and angry looking like this then they can't pin anything on us?  
  
Yusuke: Idiot! Don't talk until I find that damn hidden camera...If only those damn things had something that stood out on  
them.  
  
Kuwabara: Yeah like that thing over there with the blinking red light, *points at the camera* Hey wait a minute...  
  
Yusuke: THE CAMERA! *hugs Kuwabara then lets go of him in disgust* Ugh...*aims his finger at the camera and grins* REI GUN!  
  
The screen goes into a bright flash then blacks out. The next room shows Keiko and Botan playing cards on their bed.  
  
Keiko: Gin! Ha ha! Botan do you really think Yusuke won't do anything with Kuwabara? You did say that you almost got the big  
oaf to kiss Yusuke instead of me to bring him back.  
  
Botan: *grins and shuffles the cards* I'm sure he won't do a thing! But I'm still holding my 15 dollar bet on that he and  
Kuwabara get it on before round 5.  
  
Keiko: *sweatdrops* Gee your such a reassuring partner...  
  
A few words pop up on the screen, "All else the happens is that Keiko wins 2 more times and Botan 3. Then they go to sleep  
on opposite sides of the floor with the bed in between them. They seem that paranoid of Yuri. Hey what's that your holding  
Jane Mari? AHHHH! Nooooo don't kill me! I'm just the guy that types up subtitles...ahhhhhhh-" The screen now shows an ice  
blue eye staring into it.  
  
Knives: You will all obey Knives...All of you god damn spiders will obey me or die!! *now the camera only shows his mouth*  
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Vash: Knives stop fooling around with the camera! You've been doing the whole "why humans should die" speech for 3 hours  
already! It's driving me nuts!!   
  
Knives: Really? *looks innocently at Vash*  
  
Vash: Yes...so will you please stop it? Pretty please?  
  
Knives: *scoffs* I'm not listening to you love and peace boy! Don't make me go over there and mess with some of the viewer's  
minds with twincest!  
  
Vash: Love and Peace is good! Some of the viewers actually enjoy the twincest thing anyways...*munches on a donut that he got  
from a fan girl earlier*  
  
Knives: *sneers* So are you suggesting we do it then little brother?  
  
Vash: Eek! Not in front of the camera! Go back to the speech! I'm going to bed! *dives underneath the covers and whimpers at  
the thought of seeing his brother try to seduce him*   
  
Knives: Playing with minds is so entertaining! *glares back into the camera with an evil smile* Now as for you spiders...  
*starts going into his why the human race should die speech again*  
  
The camera fizzles out and shows a view of blue hair.  
  
Wolfwood: So with you standing in front of the camera like that then we can't be filmed?  
  
Legato: Exactly chapel...do you feel like manipulating the viewer's thoughts?  
  
Wolfwood: I'm WOLFWOOD...W-O-L-F...wait how would we manipulate their minds?  
  
Legato: By making their thoughts suggest lucid scenes to them.  
  
Wolfwood: Say what? Legato you know that I find your eyes too scary to actually...  
  
Legato: NO CHAPEL! I mean just making them think it! *sigh* Master would of never been this slow...  
  
Wolfwood: Hey! Fine, sounds like an ok idea. *starts saying in a lustful tone* Let your sweet ass wander over this way blue  
hair...*you hear him gag slightly at his own words*  
  
Legato: *snickers and adds in an almost moaning voice* Oh! Oooh Wolfwood...what are you doing?  
  
Wolfwood: Making you feel things you never felt before!  
  
Legato: *mumbles* You don't know what me and Knives do when we're bored..  
  
Wolfwood: You've been cheating on me? *sob* How could you Legato Sweetass??  
  
Legato: Idiot. I think we've played with their minds enough...besides I wish to go to sleep. I am not going to stand here all  
night. *glares into the camera and the screen goes blank but you can still hear sound* What the fuck are you doing chapel???  
  
Wolfwood: Confessing my love for you! Oh wait we're done? Geez...*you can hear pants zipping up*  
  
Legato: You are very fortunate that I'm not allowed to kill you.  
  
Wolfwood: *lighter lighting* Just don't try to scare me by saying you liked what you saw or anything...*can hear smoking noises*  
  
Legato: Ugh...you and your obscene and foul smoking...*random thudding noises and a flushing noise*  
  
Wolfwood: YOU FLUSHED MY CIGARETTES?!?!?!?! AHHHHHHHH!  
  
The screen shows Milly and Meryl with their own blankets on the bed.  
  
Milly: Goodnight Meryl!  
  
Meryl: Night Milly...  
  
Milly: Meryl?  
  
Meryl: What??  
  
Milly: We don't actually have to do that Yuri stuff do we? I really don't want to...the pudding was nice though!  
  
Meryl: What does pudding have to do with Yuri? Hopefully your pudding obsession and my work obsession will get us voted off  
before we have to do any of that though.  
  
Milly: Oh ok! Goodnight Sempai!  
  
Meryl: Goodnight.  
  
Milly: Sweet dreams!  
  
Meryl: ok...  
  
Milly: Don't let the bed bugs bite!  
  
Meryl: ....  
  
Milly: Hope the sandman comes and...  
  
Meryl: Milly shut up and go to bed!  
  
Milly: *grins* Ok sempai!  
  
New room shows up and it has two beds and two blurs run past it.  
  
Karasu: Come on Kurama...It won't hurt to let me sleep by your side...*pops up behind Kurama and nuzzles his hair*  
  
Kurama: BAKA! *zaps Karasu with the cattle prod and runs to the other side of the room* Don't step near me or I'll zap you  
into a coma!! *backs up to a wall and holds the cattle prod out in front of him*  
  
Karasu: Oooh...I like it when you play rough Kurama...  
  
Kurama: What? Awe...god...*looks queasy and clutches his stomach*  
  
Karasu: Is my beautiful love feeling sick? Here let me come over and help you...*leaps up to ponce on Kurama*  
  
Kurama: *zaps Karasu at full power...(for the sake of the story cattle prods have different power levels* in mid air* There  
not a coma..but it will do for now...*goes into his bed and makes a thorny plant wall with one of the seeds from his hair  
around him* Ahh...peace and quiet and no psychopath trying to molest me...*goes to sleep*  
  
Karasu: *coughs out a puff of smoke* Ow...Don't worry my pet I'll get you yet...*blinks and blows up the ice bucket in the room*  
Stupid show made me rhyme!! I can't even kill him what was the point of sabotaging the hostess's cards???  
  
The camera fizzles out and the set with all the loveseats and the armchair in the center is shown but with one less loveseat.  
  
Host: Well...not too much steamyness..*sigh of dissapointment* And something very mysterious has happened to our subtitle  
typer dude. Very mysterious indeed...  
  
Audience Member: It was the announcer girl! Jane Mari! She did it!! Huh? AHHHH!!! *The audience member dissapears*  
  
Host: *blinks* um...I didn't catch that but I guess he had to go to the little boy's room or something since he's not there.  
  
Jane Mari: YES! That must be it! HEE HEE HEE! *hides a glowing wand looking thing behind her back and tosses her hair*  
  
Host: Ugh...well I have to go and tell the losers of this round that it's time for them to leave. *scene goes blank and   
opens up again so that you see the host in front of a hall of hotel rooms* Time to wake up the losers! *walks down to a door  
and knocks on it* Rise and shine Midvalley and creepy cat!  
  
Midvalley: *grogily opens the door and groans out with barely open eyes* It's 5 in the damn morning...  
  
Host: Really? *checks watch* oops! Should'nt of let it go in water huh? Well I have some bad news Midvalley...  
  
Midvalley: I'm going to be forced into commiting Beastality aren't I?  
  
Host: *blinks* UGH! No! You and you partner are round 1's losing couple and now you two can go on your seperate ways...  
  
Midvalley: I'm...I'm free???  
  
Host: Er...that's one way to put it I suppose, you now can be in the audience for free as a consolation prize though!  
  
Midvalley: I'M FREE! NO MORE GIANT EVIL GREEN EYES! WAHAHAHA! Thank you...*hugs the host and runs back and forth in the hall  
yelling for joy*  
  
Host: Make sure to thank the people who voted you out! They gave you such kawaii nick names! Middie, Middy, Middy-kun...so  
adorable!  
  
Midvalley: I owe them! FREE! FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! *goes to personally thank those who voted him off*  
  
Kuroneko: Nyao?  
  
Host: Out demonic cat out!  
  
Kuroneko: Nyao..  
  
Host: Why do I even try? -_-;; Well back to the studio where in a few minutes the contestants will be playing their second  
safety challenge! I hope Karasu didn't loose the pacifier...  
  
The camera fades out and fades back into the studio set showing all the contestants there. Some of them notice the missing  
couple and loveseat.  
  
Vash: Where's Midvalley and Kuroneko? *looks under the seat cushions of the loveseat him and Knives are sharing*  
  
Knives: *whacks Vash on the head* my cushion! Besides the cat is gone. Be happy inept little brother.  
  
Vash: We're twins! How can I be the little brother???  
  
Knives: I'm taller so there. *sticks his tongue out*  
  
Host: I'm glad to see that your all still alive! *laughs nervously at the blank stares she gets in response* So the question  
of the day...  
  
Botan: Is there a quiz? Oh my, you never mentioned that!!  
  
Kuwabara and Yusuke: QUIZ?!?!!??! *look around nervously for teachers*  
  
Host: No it's just one question all of you answer, *clears throat* So today it is...Are any of you feeling sore?  
  
Karasu: *looks like he's covered in ash and coughs out a puff of smoke* Yes...  
  
Kurama: *holds on to the cattle prod for dear life* That's why you listen to me when I tell you to stop trying to grope me!  
  
Jane Mari: *bounces in and grabs the cattle prod* Sorry but we have to save this for today's safety challenge winner! *sings  
a song from sesame street as she skips off stage* LA LA LA LA...LA LA LA LA...elmo's world! hee hee!  
  
Host: *twitches* Can't kill the perky one...musn't kill...  
  
Kurama: O_O...get the bombing maniac away from me! *dives behind the host's armchair as Karasu lunges for him*  
  
Karasu: Dear Kurama I just want to proove my love for you my beautiful Kurama...*smiles wickedly*  
  
Koenma: Don't you kill the ones you love Karasu?  
  
Karasu: Yes...  
  
Koenma: *one of the only ones not staring wide eyed at Karasu* And didn't you sign a contract for getting on this show?  
  
Karasu: *grumbles* Yes, don't worry my beautiful kitsune I SHALL find a loop hole.  
  
Kurama: *shoots daggers with his eyes at Karasu and bows at Koenma* Thank Lord Koenma.  
  
Host: All of you still have quite a few rounds to last still...  
  
Legato: I should kill you and destroy this set leaving no trace of you or your idiotic contracts!  
  
Host: *hands Legato a hot dog* So any of you?  
  
Vash: Me!  
  
Everyone except Vash and Knives: O_o  
  
Vash: AHH! No not that way! Knives kept whacking on the head with the stale bread we got this morning for breakfast.  
  
Legato: *says in between mouthfuls of hot dog* Master getting stale bread? *gasps and starts choking on the hot dog*  
  
Wolfwood: Partner! *does the heimlich manuever on Legato* I want to win those body guards at the end!  
  
Host: You're coupling was the second highest in votes to get kicked off...  
  
Wolfwood: I could of let the blue haired bastard die??? Now you tell me..*mutters curses too foul for PG-13 under his breath*  
  
Legato: Why does saving someone from choking look like your humping them too?  
  
Keiko: Pervert! Your worse than Yusuke!  
  
Yusuke: Thanks Keiko! By the way your uniform looks really NICE today...*raises his eyebrows up and down at Keiko*  
  
Keiko: Yusuke you beast! *delivers one of her ultra powerful slaps of doom and Yusuke crawls back to the loveseat after landing  
on the other side of the studio*   
  
Kuwabara: HA HA! Urameshi got beat up by a girl!  
  
Yusuke: Shut up Kazuma or I'll put you in the pain I'm in.  
  
Host: Well the safety challenge today is...Karasu I need the pacifier back by the way  
  
Karasu: I blew it up.  
  
Milly: The poor pacifier!! *looks like she's about to cry*  
  
Host: *sighs* FINE! Well today's challenge either way is *snaps fingers and the lights go out then a spotlight shines on the  
host who's starting to click castenets and look melodramatic* THE DANCE OF THE....TANGO!!!  
  
Meryl: Isn't tang that orange juice powder?  
  
Kurama: Tango is a very dramatic dance...you know those ones where the couple is dancing cheek to cheek and then one dips the  
other in time to the music? Wait...Oh no! Please don't make me do that!!! Not with HIM! *points angrily at a grinning Karasu*  
  
Hiei: Hn. I'm not doing some baka ningen dance.  
  
Koenma: Come on Hiei be a sport! I want to last a while on this show...I have a bet with George. AND I WILL NOT GIVE UP MY  
PA PA!  
  
Yusuke: HA! Can take the toddler and put it into a teen's body but can't take the toddler out of the teen! Pacifier boy!  
  
Koenma: *growls* Hush Yusuke Urameshi. I'll buy you three rounds of sweet snow Hiei!  
  
Hiei: Sweet snow? *eyes light up* Make it 5...  
  
Koenma: Deal!  
  
Host: Now to show the judges...me...and...oh! I know! Yo saxophone boy! Want to be a judge?  
  
Midvalley: *walks onto the set* Do I get to hold up those number cards?  
  
Host: Yup! *brings out two sets of number cards from 0 to 10 and gives one to herself and one to Midvalley* Let the games begin!  
Cue the music and our first dancing pair is...Keiko and Botan!  
  
Keiko and Botan: Um...*they both shrug and do the Tango but only holding hands and being an arm's distance apart from each other*  
  
Botan: All done! ^_^  
  
The host and Midvalley both hold up 2's.  
  
Keiko: Oh well, I think I want to get kicked out anyways. I don't go for girls...  
  
Yusuke: Yeah you go for manly men like me! *grins*  
  
Keiko: YUSUKE! *slap o' dooms him again and goes back to her seat fuming*  
  
Host: Well now up is Legato and Wolfwood! Legato put the hot dog down you can finish it after your dance.  
  
Legato and Wolfwood actually Tango and dance cheek to cheek. Instead of a rose in his mouth (like most of one of the people  
doing the tango do) he has a pixi stick. Wolfwood grabs his butt and Legato glares and slams him to the ground.  
  
Legato: What the hell was that Chapel?? *chomps down his pixi stick angrily* (A/N: What?? How can you eat those sugary sticks  
of goodness in anger??!?!?!) The Tango does not include a groping of the hiney region...  
  
Wolfwood: Did you just say hiney?  
  
Legato: *glares* Of course not!   
  
Midvalley holds up a 10 and tries to hold back his snickering and the host holds up an 8.  
  
Host: If you two got a little more steamy maybe I would of given you a better score...next up is Yusuke and Kuwabara!  
  
Yusuke and Kuwabara Tango extremely close to each other and almost seem to be grinding their hips together as they dance cheek  
to cheek. Yusuke almost hits Kuwabara's head on the floor when he dips him.  
  
Yusuke: God! You weight a ton Kuwabara!  
  
Kuwabara: Hmph! I am not fat! *crosses his arms and pouts*   
  
Midvalley holds up a 6 but the host holds up a 10.  
  
Host: I felt sorry for Yusuke for having to dance with the big oaf...Next is Koenma and Hiei!  
  
Koenma almost sweeps Hiei off his feet and has to carry the slightly shorter demon to get him to actually dance. Koenma   
sweatdrops and gives Hiei a peck on the cheek.  
  
The host stares in shock and puts up a 3 and Midvalley puts up a 7.  
  
Koenma: What?? I only did that because I thought you thought steamyness is good!! *drops Hiei*  
  
Hiei: GRRRRRRR! *has to be held back by Kurama so he doesn't kill Koenma* Damn it stupid fox let me kill him!  
  
Koenma: AHHH! Don't you want the sweet snow?? *ducks behind his seat*  
  
Host: No killing while the show is in progress! And you can't kiss Hiei! *pouts* it just isn't right...well if it's you   
having to do it Koenma..I mean your teen form's cute but...ugh...poor fire demon... Next is Milly and Meryl.  
  
Milly: *somehow found a bowl of pudding and is eating it* mmph?  
  
Meryl: We forfeit.  
  
Host: Ok So next is...Kurama and Karasu!  
  
Karasu: Come on Kurama it'll get us extra points!  
  
Kurama: WHO SAID I WANT EXTRA POINTS??  
  
Karasu: I'm sure I can find out where you live...you have to go to sleep sometimes..Shuichi...  
  
Karuma: DAMN IT! I hate you...How the hell did you find out my human name??  
  
Karasu: I have my ways..now do it!  
  
Karuma: Fine. *pulls out a rose from his hair and puts it in his mouth and now his speech is muffled* maffy?  
  
Karasu: Yes..very happy..  
  
Karasu pulls Kurama out and spins him into a tight embrace. Kurama just looks like he's going to hurl the whole time. Karasu  
gropes Kurama a little too much during the dips and of course has his face in his hair almost the whole time.  
  
Karasu: Your so beautiful my lovely Kurama...  
  
Kurama: *spits out the rose and growls* Bite me.  
  
Karasu: Is that an invitation my pet?  
  
Kurama: *punches Karasu away and goes to his seat*  
  
The host holds up a 8 and Midvalley holds up a 10.  
  
Host: Sorry rose boy but you used a rose! I had to boost the points!  
  
Karasu: I was right! HA HA!   
  
Host: Right...well our last team is none other then peace boy and sexy evil laugh man!  
  
Everyone: ????  
  
Host: *sighs* Vash and Knives.  
  
Everyone: OH!  
  
Random Audience Member: Bad guy slut!  
  
Host: *glares and throws a pencil at the audience member* Die!! Wait...get a coma!  
  
Audience Member: *gets hit in the eye and passes out*  
  
Vash: Hey Rem showed us this song once! *looks really happy* Remember?  
  
Knives: If you mention that spider again I'll  
  
Host: DANCE!  
  
Vash and Knives hold on to each other and do a few ballroom spins in time with the music and dance forehead to forehead instead  
of cheek to cheek. Knives dips Vash and locks him in a deep kiss. Vash blushes terribly and looks really disturbed.  
  
Vash: KNIVES!! What the hell was that????  
  
Knives: You interrupted my kill the spiders speech 5 times last night. I was teaching you a lesson.  
  
Host and Midvalley blink and look at each other. They both shrug and hold up 10's.  
  
Host: *hands a new red painted pacifier to Knives and Vash* Your our winners! You get the double beds tonight!  
  
Kurama: I'm doomed...  
  
Karasu: YES! I'm actually glad we didn't win! I get to spend at least one more night with you Kurama...*grins*  
  
Kurama: *glares at the host* YOUR the one that's going to need body guards when the game ends.  
  
Hiei: I agree.  
  
Yusuke: Yeah!  
  
everyone else except midvalley: Start your praying now host girl!  
  
Host: *smiles evilly* You'll grow to love it...YAHAHAHAHAHAHA!   
  
Midvalley: I'm free already, no grudges.  
  
Host: Retreat to your rooms and I suggest you learn about each other because the next safety challenge will be a test of how  
well you know you partner!!! Next safety challenge also has a bonus prize of a free...*stares at the note card* FREE BEAT THE  
HOST FOR A FULL MINUTE CARD FOR EACH?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Who wrote this???  
  
Jane Mari: Me silly! Hee hee! Now they'll really want to win!  
  
Contestants: *go off to their rooms and start to find out as much as they can about each other*  
  
Host: Well this week the voting choices are:  
  
Kurama and Karasu  
Yusuke and Kuwabara  
Hiei and Koenma  
Botan and Keiko  
Milly and Meryl  
Legato and Wolfwood  
Vash and Knives (IMMUNE THIS ROUND)  
  
Remember the voting starts fresh this round so you can now vote again. And if you think this is just some cheap ploy to get more  
reviews then make me feel guilty by writing an email with a vote instead! Suggestions and comments are very welcome!!! Goodnight from...The Yaoi and Yuri Game!  
  
--------------------------------------  
  
Long chapter, probably will be the longest...remember to vote and suggest! That's all for now!  
adios~  
-Love Peace and Mushrooms-  
Ale 


	3. Round 3: The Evil World of Pink Glitter ...

The Yaoi and Yuri Game  
  
Round 3  
  
-------------------------------------------------  
  
Authoress's Note: You know the shitake mushrooms, don't sue me I've typed out  
enough disclaimers already! Now on to the story! And yes...we need a new announcer...since  
um the perky Jane Mari has mysteriously "disapeared"...yeah that's it...Heh heh.  
^_^  
  
Enjoy!  
  
--------------------------------------------------  
  
Host: WELCOME! Yes welcome to round 3 of...THE YAOI AND YURI GAME! Why don't we give a quick 60 second recap of the first two  
rounds announcer? *runs over to the announcer's spot*  
  
Announcer (the host): OK! *takes a deep breath and starts to talk like an auctioneer* Middy and kitty gone bye bye! Knives  
and Vash had a little fun, Kurama is insisting we give him a gun! Karasu likes his partner a wee bit much, and Wolfwood's  
a very good actor or just likes the stuff he's acting out and such! Legato misses master that we all know, Botan won at gin  
rummy 3 games in a row. Keiko slaps Yusuke and he's still sore, and by the end of this game Hiei will still not be Koenma's  
whore! Last and maybe least are milly and meryl one of which snuck into the kitchen and stole all the pudding crates and  
barrels!!! *gasps for air and bows*  
  
Audience member: Whoa...what did she say?   
  
Another one: I don't know but I think some of it rhymed.   
  
Yet Another Audience Member: Look she fainted!  
  
You see the host slumped over her desk with a dizzy look on her face. A girl in the audience stands up and the new subtitle  
guy drew an arrow and words that say "Lady BDF" pointing to the girl.  
  
Lady BDF: No! The show shall continue!! Roll that beautiful bean footage! *sits back down*  
  
Host: *regains conciousness* No copyright infridgements! Nooooooooooooooo! But she's right roll the clips of what happened  
after yesterday's Tango Fest! My head hurts...and you get free tickets if you threaten me with a curse or whatever for me to  
continue this show!   
  
Screen fizzles out and turns back on to show a little table with Knives, Vash, Legato, and Wolfwood sitting at it. All of   
them are looking at each other suspiciously while sipping coffee. (A/N: Coffee...makes the world go round!)  
  
Vash: *starts humming to himself in the awkward silence* Soooo...Nick why'd you ask for our two teams to meet here?  
  
Wolfwood: Huh? Sorry got distracted by all this suspicious staring. *watches Vash fall over on the ground and just shrugs* I  
want to propose a plan that involves our two groups.  
  
Legato: Propose? No way in hell am I marrying you Chapel!  
  
Wolfwood: What?? NO! And It's Wolfwood! WOLFWOOD!!  
  
Knives: A plan of revenge where we kill off the host spider and then every other spider on this stupid planet??  
  
Vash: Knives! No! LOVE AND PEACE!  
  
Knives: Quiet you! You liked the way I tango'ed with you and you know it!  
  
Vash: *sticks out his tongue* Nyeh! Did not! *turns away from Knives and tries to ignore him* So what is it Nick?  
  
Wolfwood: I think we should trade! *stands up with a fist up in the air* To save what's left of our sanity's I say we trade!  
WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Vash: *blinks* You WANT to be with Knives?  
  
Knives: *spits out his coffee* What?? I'm not going to be paired up with Chapel!!  
  
Legato: *mopping up the spitted out on him coffee with a napkin* Master I think what Chapel means is for you and me to be   
partners and him and Vash to team up too. I think it's probably the best idea Wolfwood will ever have.  
  
Wolfwood: *gets starry eyed* You called me Wolfwood! I'm touched baby!  
  
Legato: O_\/ !!! (a/n: Legato has those bang things in front of one eye always remember?) CHAPEL CHAPEL CHAPEL!  
  
Botan: *pops in* Chapel? Is someone getting married?? How darling!  
  
Vash: AHHH! It's the blue haired girl with a paddle!   
  
Botan: It's an oar! *whacks Vash in the head with her oar* You guys were making such a comotion that I got curious and wanted  
to see what was up! *grins and giggles* Come on girls! Not much is happening but you can come out!  
  
The other three girls on the show (Keiko, Meryl, Milly) pop up behind the other guy's chairs.  
  
Meryl: You guys can't switch! If we have to be stuck with who we got then you have to be stuck too!  
  
Milly: And you seem very happy with you brother Mr. Knives, Mr. Vash!   
  
Keiko: *stares weirdly at knives whoose chair she happens to be behind* Your brothers????? That's just not right!  
  
Knives: Shhh!   
  
Keiko: But really it's just not-  
  
Knives: Shh! Shh! Shh! I have a big bag of shh! with your name on it human!  
  
Keiko: But-  
  
Knives: SHH! Zip it!   
  
Keiko: b-  
  
Knives: Zip it! Zip it good! *gets hit in the head by a plastic wand looking thing*  
  
Jane Mari: (a/n: this footage was before her disapearance) Silly billies no copyright rule breaking! *shakes a finger at them*  
Hee hee hee! Naughty naughty! The host sent me here to kick out the losing couple from round 2! Now where are all the rest of  
the willy nilly payers?  
  
Milly: * even she has to stare weirdly at the temporary announcer's odd perkyness* Willy nilly?   
  
Everyone sweatdrops and so do the other couples who walk towards the table.  
  
Kurama: *left eye is twitching slightly* no...more...fire...no...more..fire...  
  
Karasu: *clutching onto the broken Kurama* I bombed the bathroom while my lovely was in it last night and he got stuck in the flames,  
*grins, well it looks like grinning even though you can't tell through his hospital metal mask thing* Isn't he adorable after  
a near death experience??  
  
Koenma: Oh I BET that's all that happened between you two last night...*snickers and gets hit in the head by Hiei*  
  
Hiei: Shut up baka baby.  
  
Yusuke: So who got kicked out?  
  
Kuwabara: I think for Kurama's sake it should be him...*pokes Kurama but the poor kitsune doesn't react*  
  
Jane Mari: GOOD! YOUR ALL HERE! HEE HEE! Well I would make this suspenseful and drama-licious but Keiko and Botan your gone!  
*taps Keiko and Botan on the head with her plastic wand and they dissapear in a swirl of pink glitter, Botan's oar is left  
behind* OOH! Her boat thingy! fun fun!  
  
Host: *runs into the scene and tackles Jane Mari* I CAN NOT TAKE ANYMORE OF YOUR PERKINESS! *grabs the oar and starts bashing  
the announcer over the head with it* Die die die DIE!!!  
  
Vash: What about the contract?  
  
Host: The what? Oh...oops... *looks at the bloody pulp that used to be Jane Mari* Oh..shit-  
  
Milly: ake mushrooms!  
  
Host: You guys aren't going to turn me in are you? I mean, she was annoying you guys too right?? Heh...remember the prize for  
today's safety challenge! You want me to be around for that right?  
  
Yusuke: Keiko! Crap where is she??  
  
Koenma: I'd say somewhere in the world of pink glitter magic girl victims. She and Botan should be able to find a way out within  
a week or so.  
  
Legato: Pink glitter magic girl victims world?   
  
Kuwabara: Luckies..I like pink glitter...  
  
Kurama: *gets "unbroken" and starts cracking up* Thanks Kuwabara I feel HAHAHAHAHA better now...HAHA HA HA!!!  
  
Karasu: Awe...now I can't play with your semi-unconcious body anymore my lovely.  
  
Kurama: Oh shut up...wait you did what?? O_O  
  
Host: Ok so we all agree to a vow of silence about the whole Jane Mari incident?  
  
All: Jane who?  
  
Host: *Mr.Burns style* Excellent...  
  
Scene cuts and now we can see a nervous looking host.  
  
Host: Oh my...guess the vow of silence doesn't do much now...Well now for the safety challenge game of today! The   
"How well do you know you partner game! Game." *snaps fingers* Mr.Quackers bring the contestants! *waits* Awe...why do all  
my minions take vacations at the same time?? *sigh* Just walk out and sit down you guys.  
  
The contestants (except Botan and Keiko because they are the new losers) all walk out and sit in their loveseats.  
  
Host: And my darling assistant Hornfreak will help keep score!  
  
Midvalley: *sits on a stool next to the host's armchair and takes out a notepad and pencil*  
  
Host: Today's prizes are immunity in this round's voting and a free *gulps* beat up the host for 5 whole minutes card for   
each of the winning pair's people. Or demons...or plants...or demigod...or I think that's it. There are three questions which  
we know the answers to and we'll go around asking the one question till we have an answer from everyone? Alright?   
  
Midvalley: And I get to keep score!   
  
Legato: How come you got to stay here even after being kicked off?  
  
Midvalley: The readers love me! *grins and laughs at the camera*  
  
Legato: *mutters* Reviewer-whornfreak.  
  
Midvalley: I heard that! Words hurt you know..  
  
Host: ENOUGH! Now our first question...  
  
Knives: Truth hurts doesn't it saxophone boy??  
  
Host: AHEM! First question...What is your partners favorite food and favorite way to be served that food?  
  
Milly: Miss isn't that two questions?  
  
Host: Just eat your stolen pudding dear.  
  
Milly: Oh...Alright! *smiles and eats her pudding*  
  
Yusuke: Er...He likes...ramen?  
  
Midvalley: ER! wrong! He likes chamomille tea when Yukina serves it to him when he pretends to be really sick to get her pity.  
  
Hiei: WHAT?  
  
Kuwabara: What do you care shrimp? It's not like the fair Yukina is your sister or anything!  
  
Kurama: Hiei...calm yourself...*holds the back of Hiei's shirt to keep him from killing Kuwabara*  
  
Host: Your turn Kazuma.  
  
Kuwabara: That's easy! Um...he likes...food? When it's being put into his mouth with a fork?  
  
Host: Can you be more specific?  
  
Kuwabara: No.  
  
Midvalley: No points for the Kazuma and Urameshi lovers!  
  
Yusuke: LOVERS?!?!?!  
  
Host: Your next Legato, lovely lovely bishie Legato!  
  
Legato: He likes cigarettes when he's smoking them.  
  
Midvalley: Bing bing bing! That's right!  
  
Karasu: Cigarettes are food?  
  
Wolfwood: No but it was all I could think of. Legato likes eating hot dogs with his left hand.  
  
Legato: It's such a nice left arm isn't it Vash?? *Legato licks his left arm*  
  
Vash: Stop doing that! That's my arm! You have no right to lick it! *pouts as he sees that Legato is ignoring him and continuing  
to lick his old arm*  
  
Midvalley: 2 points total! Your up short kid and guy with a pacifier.  
  
Hiei: What did you call me? *reaches for his katana but sees that it's missing* WHAT?!?! WHERE IS IT???  
  
Koenma: I had it taken away from you so that you wouldn't kill me by "accident" at night. Hiei likes to guzzle down Ice Cream.  
  
Midvalley: That's right! Hey Host...  
  
Host: Yes Hornfreak?  
  
Midvalley: What number comes after 2? I think I might need to know for the next question...  
  
Host: *sigh* 3..3 comes after two.  
  
Hiei: Koenma likes his pacifier after it's been shoved up his spoiled royal bratty a-  
  
Vash: BEEP!  
  
Hiei: What the f-  
  
Vash: BEEP!  
  
Hiei: Hn! Stop that you f-  
  
Vash: Beep beep!  
  
Hiei: Oh for the love of -  
  
Vash: BEEP! Oh you weren't going to swear that time...my mistake...  
  
Knives: Little brother do you want ME to shut you mouth for you?  
  
Vash: GAH! NO!  
  
Host: Hiei's answer is right!  
  
Koenma: It is not!  
  
Host: Is too! You should stay in your teen form more instead of your dumb baby form if you don't like it! Kurama and Karasu  
it's your turn.  
  
Kurama: He likes anything if I was the one to spoon feed it to him. WHICH WILL NEVER HAPPEN!  
  
Karasu: That's what you think...He likes to enjoy a simple cup of hot tea with his mother.  
  
Kurama: You lay one finger on my mother ever and I'll kill you...again...   
  
Host: With his mother? that's correct! Also very very sweet and adorable!  
  
Midvalley: But only 1 point because Karasu's answer is anything that you feed by hand to him, not a spoon.  
  
Kurama glares at what looks like Karasu grining, stupid metal mask! You can't tell anything at all!  
  
Host: Meryl?  
  
Meryl: Pudding any way it can come in just lots and lots of pudding my bet.  
  
Midvalley: ERR!  
  
Meryl: HOW CAN THAT BE WRONG? LOOK AT HER! SHE'S EATING PUDDING AS WE SPEAK!  
  
Milly: Meryl sempai didn't you remember that I actually like donuts more like Mr.Vash? I just don't eat them because he always  
seems to want one.  
  
Host: Really? Then why pudding?  
  
Milly: It's pudding-licious of course!  
  
Vash: Milly's nice and Meryl's a meany head! *Meryl glares* UM! In the best way possible of course! ^_^ *sweatdrops*  
  
Milly: Sempai likes coffee because it lets her stay awake to work more, oh and in a mug?  
  
Midvalley: 1 point for the pudding girl and workaholic! AHH! Don't kill me Meryl! *hides under the score notepad*  
  
Knives: Guess that leaves us, the spider lover inhales donuts.   
  
Midvalley: 1 point for the boss!  
  
Vash: Um... Knives I really never see you eating anything...GASP! Oh no! *hugs his brother* My por brother has an eating  
disorder! I'll cure him! *gets teary eyed*  
  
Knives: Let go of me Vash! I just don't like to eat in front of others like my mans-  
  
Vash: BEEP!  
  
Knives: fine...like my minion Legato does.  
  
Yusuke: Ha ha! The blue haired boy's a mansl-  
  
Vash: BEEEP!  
  
Host: Vash if you censor someone one more time I'll...here give me a piece of paper midvalley,*midvalley does this and the host  
writes down something on the paper and hands it to Vash*  
  
Vash: O_O !!! I'll be good!  
  
Host: Well we're just about out of time so screw the 3 questions and who won this time?  
  
Midvalley: Wolfwood and Knives  
  
Host: Alright...well here are your free 5 minute beat up passes...but you don't want to really use them right??  
  
Wolfwood: I'll wait until I have my cross punisher with me.  
  
Legato: I'll wait until the contract is null and void.  
  
Host: Oh. Wonderful. -_- Nobody is on my side are they?  
  
Midvalley and Milly: Your not so bad...  
  
Host: ^_^ GRACIAS!  
  
Midvalley: Doesn't mean I won't get revenge for you setting me up with Kuroneko though! ^_^  
  
Milly: I've been able to eat so much pudding I feel sick. So...*adds cheerfully* I can get you too!  
  
Host: I'm so alone...*sigh* So the voting for this week is as follows:  
  
Kurama and Karasu  
Yusuke and Kuwabara  
Hiei and Koenma  
Milly and Meryl  
Legato and Wolfwood (IMMUNE THIS ROUND)  
Vash and Knives  
  
Voting is cleared and make sure to vote often! The sooner votes come in the sooner I can kick someone off and start a new round!  
This is Ale the hostess with the creamy filling! Saying goodnight-  
  
Vash: Good fight!  
  
Host: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
--------------------------------------------------  
  
Awe everyone is against our hostess...poor ol' gal. She needs her minions back so she can get a new announcer.  
Make sure to vote, review, and or suggest stuff! Woohoo! And yes...Jane Mari is dead...let's have a moment of silence..  
  
Everyone: YAY! Ding dong the bitch is dead! Which old bitch? The hyper bitch! Ding dong the hyper bitch is dead!  
  
Authoress: My sentiments exactly! How did you all learn to sing in harmony like that?  
  
Kurama: Picked it up from SNL.  
  
Botan: I like those musical parodies! I have to go back to the evil world of pink glitter magic girl victims, cya later!  
  
Kurama: *sweatdrops* Er..why'd she wanna go back?  
  
Authoress: No clue my lovely darling bishounen! Well until next time! Adios!  
  
-Love Peace and Mushrooms-  
Ale 


	4. Round 4: Leather is Niiiice

The Yaoi and Yuri Game!!  
  
  
Round 4: Leather is niiiice!  
  
----------------------------------  
  
Authoress's Note: (Don't you love these? Note the heavy sarcasm darlings!) I don't own Yuu Yuu Hakusho, or Trigun...which   
means I don't own the lovely bishounen within them either. Idiota copyrights! It just ruined my day! *sigh* A hint to today's  
round:  
We may need to shorten the title of this story! ^_~ fun fun! Enjoy the story darlings!  
  
----------------------------------  
  
  
The scene opens up to Milly sitting on a bed eating some pudding. She looks up to the camera and smiles with a spoon  
in her mouth.  
  
Milly: Hello! The hostess said that she wanted Meryl sempai and I to do testimonials... I don't know why though.  
  
Meryl: *jumps into view* We're free Milly! We were voted off in a landslide of a vote! YES! *pumps her fists in the air*  
  
Milly: So we lost? That's kind of sad though...  
  
Meryl: Are you kidding? No more safety challenges! No more Yaoi! and NO MORE of this game show! We're free!!! Work here I come!  
  
Milly: So is that why we were asked to do a testimonial thingy?  
  
Meryl: We don't have anything to testify, one reson why we lost. I'm going to pack my stuff and leave as soon as I can!   
WA HAHAHAHAHAHA! *goes to turn off the camera*  
  
Milly: *waves at the camera before it shuts off* Bye bye! ^___^  
  
We once again back in the studio that all of you should know and love by now. You don't know it? Cheater! Read the other  
rounds! Still refusing eh? Fine be confused...awe now I feel guilty for letting you be confused. Oh well. Our hostess is   
sitting in her armchair griining madly and Midvalley has taken over the job of announcer!   
  
Hostess: Due to a recent turn in what type of teams are still in the running it seems like we need to change our giant neon  
game show sign! If everyone would please put on their earmuffs we can get this part done with! S'alright?   
  
Audience: S'alright! *puts on earmuffs*  
  
Annoying guy in the sudience: These things look tacky! I won't wear them! Hmph!  
  
Hostess: Your loss. HIT IT MIDDY WIDDY KUN!  
  
Midvalley: I haven't heard that one since this one whore in-  
  
Hostess: Save you lemon life tales for another story middy..*puts earmuffs on and gives a thumbs up to midvalley*  
  
Midvalley: *plays his saxophone really loudly making the 'and Yuri' part of the sign explode* TA DA! *bows*  
  
Annoying guy: MY EARS ARE BLEEDING!!!!! _  
  
Midvalley: You should of listened to the hostess...tsk tsk tsk. I'm going off to greet my fans! *walks into the audience   
where he is instantly glomped by Makenai*  
  
Makenai: Sexalicious saxophone boy! You came back!  
  
Midvalley: ^___^ I have fans!!  
  
Hostess: Today we have a very special show that is not, I repeat...NOT FOR PEOPLE OR THINGS THAT LOVE COWS!! Why?? I'll tell  
you why! After this commercial break! *claps hands together* Bring on the commercial!!  
  
The camera is now showing a fake beach set. Then 4 people in fanta girl costumes are shoved out onto the set.  
  
Legato (In purple fanta costume): -__\/ We're the fantanos.  
  
Vash (In the red fanta get up): *strikes a pose* Si amigos! We're the fantanos! Um...why are we doing this again?  
  
Kurama (In the yellow fanta thing): *shrugs* I don't know but for some reason the hostess really likes fanta.  
  
Koenma (In orange fanta outfit): I think she just likes to see crossdressers.  
  
Random Girl: *jumps in and reads her lines for the commercial* Look everyone it's the fantanos!  
  
Koenma: We're on strike from doing the dance scene. *all the fantanos nod in agreement*  
  
Random Girl: *pulls out a cheap looking plastic wand* I'll send you to the world of Pink glitter magical girl victims if you  
don't... *grins*  
  
Fantanos: NOOOOOOOOO!!! *start dancing* Fanta fanta don't you wanta fanta fanta don't you wanta...  
  
Vash: Don't you wanta fanta? *winks*  
  
Kurama: Mmm-hmm! *winks*  
  
Random Girl: Now that wasn't so bad was it?  
  
Legato: How do you wish to die?  
  
Random Girl: Eep!  
  
Scene fades out and fades back into the game show set with all the contestants in their loveseats looking very anxious.  
  
Hostess: Welcome back! Now to tell our audience, viewers, and lovely bishies...  
  
Kuwabara: See? I AM a bishounen!  
  
Hostess: Er, your the exception kuwabara. Anyways today's safety challenge will be *pauses for dramatic effect*  
  
Knives: *after a few minutes of silence* Well? On with it you stupid spider!  
  
Hostess: Fine! It's a tight leather outfits fashion showdown. Happy? You ruined the dramatic suspense! *pouts*  
  
Contestants: WHAT??!?  
  
Fan girls in audience: YAY! *lots of cheering and wolf whistles* WOOOOOO!   
  
Hostess: It's quite simple, after raiding quite a bit of "special" stores we have the backroom filled with tons of leather  
clothing! You have ten minutes to go with your partner and choose matching or outfits that go together somehow. You come out  
here and get points by the ammount of cheering you get! Simple no?  
  
Vash: No.  
  
Hostess: Too bad! Winners get immunity blah blah blah...and a pair of tickets to an All You Can Eat Dessert Bar!  
  
Hiei: Desert?  
  
Vash: Donuts too?  
  
Legato: Food?  
  
Hostess: yes, yes, and yes! Now ready.....get steady....GO! *Legato, Vash and Hiei drags their partners into the back room and  
the others calmly walk while grumbling threats*  
  
Midvalley: Do I have to keep score again?  
  
Hostess: Did you watch those sesame street videos on counting?  
  
Midvalley: Sort of...  
  
Hostess: Good enough, *hands midvalley a clipboard and pen* Have fun! ^_^  
  
-------10 minutes later--------  
  
A catwalk is set up with bass filled techno music and multi colored spotlights filling the room. (Pretty spiffy...if you ask  
me. Only the best for our bishies! ^_~)  
  
Hostess: *eating popcorn while grinning* Now ladies and few gentlemen the moment you've all been waiting for! Bring out our  
first team of-  
  
Person who just ran in the studio: WAIT! You can not continue with this show!!  
  
Hostess: Why???  
  
Person: I repersent the league of protect our bishies and the guild of stop the nasty shows!  
  
Midvalley: There's a Guild of Stop the Nasty Shows?  
  
Repersentative: *gasp* A bishounen! *bows at midvalley's feet* Has this mad woman harmed you oh bishounen?  
  
Hostess: I resent that! I'm not angry I'm insane! INSANE NOT MAD!! _  
  
Repersentative: Silence you fiend! I am going to put a stop to this bishounen nasty wasty torture once and for all! What   
would you make these poor things do next? Wrestle in a pit of pudding with only their boxers on? Oooh! Nasty thoughts! Noo!  
  
Wolfwood (from backstage): Don't give her any ideas!!!  
  
Hostess: Hmm...*evil little mischief gears in her mind start turning*  
  
Wolfwood: Damn it.  
  
Repersentative: *whacks the hostess on the head with a giant mallet of anti-nastyness* HA!  
  
Hostess: Ow!!! *rubs her head* Random girl! Take care of this pest!  
  
Random Girl: I want to see Vash in leather! *whacks the repersentative with the cheap looking plastic wand and she dissapears  
in a swirl of pink glitter* Ooh...pretty...*walks offstage again*  
  
Hostess: I'm going to get an aspirin, you take care of the first three couples middy. *walks offstage cursing*  
  
Midvalley: Er...ok first up ladies *winks* and guys is the lovely rose boy Kurama and his devoted and explosive fan Karasu!  
  
Karasu: *Walks out in tight leather pants and shirtless except for an unzipped long leather coat* Come on out my dear, you  
look absolutely delicious. *grins evilly*  
  
Kurama: *comes out in the same thing except instead of pants he has shorts on* Only a few more rounds and then I can send  
bloodsucking plants after him....  
  
Karasu: What was that love?  
  
Kurama: Nothing...So saxophone guy what are we supposed to do now?  
  
Midvalley: It says here you have to strut your stuff and try to get a good reaction from the audience. Like this! *walks   
around and poses a few times winking at the girls in the audience. He finishes by blowing a kiss to the audience*  
  
Middy-kun fan girls: WE LOVE YOU HORNFREAK!!!  
  
Midvalley: See?  
  
Karasu: Hmm...to be able to be here another round with my beautiful kitsune sure. *struts down the catwalk while playing with  
his jacket. He gets to the end of it and takes off the jacket, swinging it a few times above his head* How did you like that?  
  
Audience: *scattered cheers and many scowling faces* You molested Kurama!  
  
Kurama rabid fan: Die! DIE KARASU!! Grrr!!!  
  
Kurama: *points and laughs at Karasu* My fans are a blessing for once! *walks down the catwalk without any poses or anything  
but he smiles at everyone*  
  
Audience: *loud cheering and appluase*  
  
Rabid Kurama fans: WE'LL BEAR YOUR CHILD KURAMA!!! *swooning*  
  
Kurama: What? Noo! Don't cheer! You'll make us win! *sighs and sweatdrops* Fans are never a blessing...  
  
Midvalley: I think that cheering equals somewhere around a 7! You guys can go sit down now and next up is Vash the donut muncher   
Stampede and Crazy, Sexy, Cool Knives!  
  
Vash: *pokes his head out from behind the curtain* Can we have a little more time?  
  
Midvalley: Well.....no.  
  
Vash: *pouts* Fine. Come on Knives. *they both walk out in matching leather boots and low rise cut pants, Knives has a whip*  
You could of given us enough time to put shirts on whorefreak! *munches on a donut that cathowl tossed to him earlier*  
  
Midvalley: _ It's hornfreak! horn! Not whore!  
  
Knives: That's not what I've heard midvalley...*snickers*  
  
Audience: *chanting* TWINCEST TWINCEST TWINCEST TWINCEST!!!  
  
Rabid Vash fans: That's nasty!  
  
Audience: *continues while whistling and cheering* TWINCEST TWINCEST!  
  
Vash: What was the prize for today again Knives?  
  
Knives: For the 5th time already, it's a coupon for an all you can eat dessert bar! *flicks Vash on the back of the head*  
  
Vash: Ow! Really???  
  
Knives: Really.  
  
Vash: In that case! *tackles his brother and slaps him on the butt* Let's hear those cheers!  
  
Knives: Vash?? This is a side of you I haven't seen before! I sorta like it, *smirks*  
  
Audience: whoa...*silence then a loud roar of cheering and applause* Go twincest whores go!  
  
Midvalley: Um...so would that be a 5?  
  
Knives: *cracks his whip onto the catwalk and shoots Midvalley a death glare*  
  
Midvalley: Right boss! That was a 10! Yeah! A 10! You two can go, next up we have the gloomy shorty Hiei and his partner the  
baby at heart Koenma!  
  
Koenma: *strides out sporting a leather vest and baggy leather pants* Come on out Hiei the water's fine!  
  
Hiei: *walks out in a pair of cute leather overalls with a matching leather headband* What water? Hn. Idiot...  
  
Midvalley: Just curious but how do those outfits go together???  
  
Koenma: I don't know, but doesn't he look so adorable in overalls?  
  
Midvalley: *falls over*  
  
Audience: Er...yay? *about half of it is cheering*  
  
Rabid Hiei Fans: AWE!!! KAWAII!!!!! CUTE CUTE CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTEEEEEE! *they all faint from Hiei being so cute*  
  
Hiei: O_o. All of you are insane. *walks off the catwalk*  
  
Midvalley: I give that reaction a 7.   
  
Koenma: Damn it I'm going to loose my bet! *walks off sadly*  
  
Hostess: *sneaks up behind Midvalley and reads the scores over his shoulder* So the plants are winning so far hmm?  
  
Midvalley: AHHHH! Oh it's just you, don't scare me like that!  
  
Hostess: Next up is the always hungry Legato and Nicholas the holy man Wolfwood!!   
  
Legato: *from backstage* This stuff pinches in the butt a bit...AHH! CHAPEL! YOU WERE WHAT WAS PINCHING ME??  
  
Wolfwood: It's our cue Legato wato! *Legato and wolfwood walk out in matching leather 3 piece suits*  
  
Audience: This is boring...my grandfather dresses more clad than that!  
  
Wolfwood: We're not done yet, *snaps his fingers and the Nothing But Mammals song starts playing* Ready Legato wato?  
  
Legato: When will you stop calling me that chapel??  
  
Wolfwood: When you learn my real name sweet cheeks! *him and Legato start struting down the catwalk. During their way to the  
front they took off their coats and shirts*  
  
Audience: *loud cheering and clapping* Take it off! Take it off!  
  
The one conservitive rabid wolfwood fan: Put it back on Nicky! It's not proper or priest-like!!!  
  
Legato: Grand finale! *Legato and Wolfwood look at each other and nod then quickly rip off each other's pants leaving them with  
only a pair of leather boxers on* Is it just me or is it suddenly very cold up here??  
  
Audience: *going wild* WOOO! Shake it bishies!! *half of them are trying to claw their way up to the cat walk*  
  
Wolfwood: *pats Legato's stomach* Be glad that even though you eat like a pig it doesn't look like it!  
  
Hostess: Leather is niiiice...*starry eyed look*  
  
Midvalley: I think that was a 12.  
  
Hostess: What scale have you been using anyways??  
  
Midvalley: The scale that tricks the boss into thinking he's winning scale! *grins*  
  
Hostess: In that case they do get a 12!  
  
Legato: You tricked master?? I'll see that he is avenged whore freak.  
  
Midvalley: HORN! HORN! wait, what? Awe shit...  
  
Hostess: Next up and last up is Kuwabara the not so bishie but a great Lucy impersonator Kazuma! And Gel boy of the year   
Yusuke!!!   
  
Yusuke: *walks out in tight leather shorts and a leather baseball cap* Speaking of gel...whoose bright idea was it to steal all  
of mine??  
  
Hostess: You look better that way! I mean...no clue! *smiles innocently*  
  
Kuwabara: *hops out in a leather sack* Urameshi! The ladies can't see my face while I'm in here!  
  
Yusuke: Trust me they're better off that way Kuwabara!  
  
Audience: *hold up signs* No more gel for Yusuke! Gel is eviiiil! and Gel eats souls and minds! *cheering*  
  
The lone Kuwabara fan: Let him out of the sack! *is silenced ten seconds later*  
  
Midvalley: 6?  
  
Hostess: 7 wouldn't hurt.  
  
Midvalley: Alright, 7.   
  
Hostess: So tonight the winner of our imunity challenge and all you can eat dessert bar coupon is....  
  
Audience: *5 minutes later* WELL??  
  
Hostess: Tsk tsk tsk...so impatient! This round's winners are Legato and Wolfwood again? HEY! No fair!   
  
Kurama: It is very fair...  
  
Karasu: Is not.  
  
Kurama: Is too.  
  
Karasu: *sends a bomb that explodes at Kurama's feet* IS NOT.  
  
Kurama: @_@ right...  
  
Midvalley: Where'd holy boy and the botomless stomach go?  
  
Hostess: Didn't you see them? I guess they ran too fast but I was able to hear Legato say something like Food! Right after he  
grabbed his prize and ran out dragging wolfwood along.  
  
Midvalley: Oh. This week's voting is:  
  
Legato and Wolfwood (IMMUNE...again...)  
Knives and Vash  
Hiei and Koenma  
Yusuke and Kuwabara  
Kurama and Karasu  
  
Hostess: Remember to vote! Voting is good for the mind and soul!  
  
Vash: Really?  
  
Hostess: Doesn't hurt to try. The couple's are starting to get more interesting and getting to be fewer! Who will win the   
grand prize!  
  
Midvalley: Don't you know?  
  
Hostess: Honestly? I have no idea! Goodnight and sweet dreams darlings! *blows a kiss to the air*  
  
While the credits roll by the camera shows Legato and Wolfwood at the dessert bar.  
  
All the show stuff and hostess: Ale  
  
Wolfwood: I don't think I can eat another bite *looks at his half eaten sundae*  
  
Announcer: Midvalley the whore...er..Hornfreak.  
  
Legato: Can I have it then? *looks up from his 5th plate full of desserts*  
  
Special thanks to: Lady BDF (for making me feel special and appreciated hee hee), Lunny (for whom I stopped saying sweet snow, damn   
so close to kicking the habit...), Makenai (for loving the saxophone boy), Setsu-kun (who belives that rosey boy and Karasu  
isn't that much of a stretch. yay!), Cathowl (they helped feed Vash...always important to feed the bishies), PyroSprite64 (  
because they gave me a really good idea for a sign! No it wasn't in this episode.), Lily Kalanoa (for sparing the firey   
tempered fire demon in her vote), and Sailorspazz (who reminded me of my tight leather idea!!)  
  
Wolfwood: Sorry Buddy I think you've had enough.  
  
Legato: No I haven't *looks at Wolfwood strangely*  
  
Wolfwood: *gives Legato his sundae and says in a weird monotone way* You're right...You haven't had enough...  
  
Legato: Good Wolf- Chapel! *digs into the sundae*  
  
--------------------------------------------------  
  
See? You get special thanks when you review! Ain't that special?  
  
Annoying now deaf guy: Don't say Ain't it'll make your mother faint!  
  
Me: My mother doesn't understand the word ain't! so nyah! *sticks my tongue out* Remember that votes, suggestions, and   
comments are needed. The more reviews or emails about this thing that come in the faster I continue! But don't expect round  
5 up tomorrow either, I have my schooling to get to! But I don't wanna..... Oh well! Adios amigo darlings!  
  
-Love Peace and Mushrooms-  
Ale 


	5. Round 5: A Very Useful Gift

The Yaoi Game   
  
  
Round 5: Useful Gifts From Milly!  
  
  
Authoress's Note: In case I happen to dissapear again after posting this new chapter send a search party. Tell them to try  
my mother's closet, she always hides everything in there. Yup you guessed it, report card week...I have too many more B's   
than I do A's..I'm doomed. doomed. Doom doom doom doom doom...I love Gir! Oh right, I do not own the doom song, YYH, or  
Trigun.   
  
Mr.Quackers: *rubber duck squeak*  
  
Me: NO! You shall never be a muse again...You think I have to remind them of that? All right... I don't own the fantanos or  
fantanas or even have a can of fanta to my name...for now... ^_^ Enjoy! I am so happy!! the last chappie got 12 reviews!  
You guys rock my socks! Don't ask... @_@   
  
---------------------------------------  
  
The studio set has very dim lights lighting it. The hostess is sitting pretty on easy street..dum dum bada da da...easy   
street..*stops after getting whacked on the head* Gomen. Too many on tv musicals. The hostess is sitting, Midvalley is   
happily swarmed by his admireres, and I the side notes guy am ignored...in a basement...again. I will get my revenge.  
  
Hostess: I think we need to really look into our staff's mental backgrounds...  
  
It's too late now! I have a contract! MUA HAHAHAHAHAHA!   
  
Hostess: O_o...um... I am never going to see the end of this show!  
  
Midvalley: Do I get to be host if you kick the bucket??   
  
Hostess: No. *sighs and then grins stupidly towards the audience* Let's kick out last round's losers shall we???  
  
Audience: SI SENORITA!! *all start clapping in rhythm and singing* Los ninos! Los ninos! Los ninos necisitan ir!  
  
Hostess: I wonder if the safety challenge I have planned for today will go over ok with a Sabado Gigante type audience? OH   
WELL! Bring out the losing couple! *trumpets blare*  
  
Yusuke and Kuwabara get pushed out onto the stage, still in their leather outfits. Including the one where Kuwabara is stuck  
inside a large leather sack.  
  
Yusuke: Damn it, do we have to do another one of your games already?  
  
Kuwabara: I'm getting dizzy in here...URAMESHI! LET ME OUT!!! *rolls around in his sack*  
  
Hostess: Actually your getting the boot! ^_^ So without further ado..  
  
Kuwabara: We lost? Were all the votes against us?  
  
Midvalley: *lets Kuwabara out so he can breathe* It was very close between you two and the vertically challenged guy with the  
pacifier boy!   
  
Kuwabara: THE SHRIMP BEAT ME?!?!? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I the great Kuwabara Kazuma will not be defeated by that munchkin!  
  
Hostess: But you WERE beaten by him! So, audience this is your last chance for a spanish filled chant! Where should these two  
go?  
  
Audience: ¡Al león! ¡Al león! ¡Al león! *trumpet blares*  
  
Hostess: YES! To the lion!!! Bye boys!  
  
Yusuke: THE WHA??!?! *him and kuwabara get swept away by a very realistic looking giant lion's paw into a fake cave to the side  
of the stage*  
  
Midvalley: Um...that lion's paw looked pretty real for a prop.  
  
Hostess: That's not the way it worked on Sabado Gigante...Oh dear...*gulps*  
  
AHA! I have my revenge! Hey...this isn't the hostess and the saxophone man! I have been foiled!! I'll just let these two  
guys go outside. The geled one is swearing so much my ears hurt.  
  
Midvalley: While we teach our audience how to speak english and random bits of japanese again it's time for a commercial   
break!  
  
Hostess: I don't believe in lions I don't believe in lions...I'm going to get sued... -_-;;  
  
The fantanos are back but this time are sitting on folding chairs. They still are on the incredibly fake beach set and the   
fanta music is playing softly in the background.  
  
Legato: Hello pathetic humans we are here today to discuss an important manner.  
  
Vash: The issue of insane authors crossdressing bishounen! Think of love and peace towards us too! *sad puppy dog eyes*  
  
Kurama: *staring at the fantano that replaced Koenma* That's just not right...  
  
Hiei: (he's wearing the fanta outfit Koenma had on whoose color escapes me) Hn. Baka authors.  
  
Kurama: Do you think they'll actually listen to this anyways?  
  
Legato: Considering how we are still dressed within these things I doubt it.  
  
Random girl: But I like them!  
  
Fantanos: *death glares* o_o  
  
Random girl: Kick up the music and dance bishies dance!  
  
Vash: Will you give me a donut?  
  
Random girl: OF COURSE! *gives vash a donut*  
  
Vash: YES! *dances around* Fanta fanta don't you wanta fanta fanta don't you wanta..*knudges Kurama*  
  
Kurama: *shrugs and poses* Don't you wanta, fanta?  
  
Hiei: Mmm-hmm! *recieves surprised looks* What are you staring at idiots?? It's my line!  
  
Back to the now back to normal set. That hostess is sitting while shaking a wrapped gift.   
  
Hostess: WELCOME BACK! We recieved a gift from Milly! The card says : Meryl seems very happy to be free. I can eat all of   
Mr. Vash's donuts, so I won't be needing this anymore. Enjoy Miss Hostess!   
  
Midvalley: *snatches the box and opens it* An instant boatload ammount of pudding pack? Why would we need this?  
  
Hostess: PERFECT! I CAN CONTINUE WITH TODAY'S TORTURE!  
  
Midvalley: Don't you mean challenge? O_o..  
  
Hostess: Er...right! That was what I said wasn't it? Heh..*sweatdrops* But now for clips of our bishies! Since we haven't   
done that in a bit.  
  
Midvalley: I'm so happy I'm already out of this thing!  
  
The camera fades out and fades into the hotel lobby, where all the guys are except for leggy and wolfie. They were still  
at the dessert bar.  
  
Yusuke: I've had enough of your speeches about why humans should die Knives! We settle this right now!  
  
Knives: Bring it on spider!  
  
Yusuke: Ready...GO!  
  
Yusuke and Knives: RO! SHAM! BO! SHOOT! *Knives plays scissors and Yusuke plays paper*  
  
Knives: HA! HA HAHAHAHAHA! SCISSORS BEATS YOUR PATHETIC PAPER!!  
  
Vash: I'll show you how to beat him!  
  
Yusuke: I'd like to see you try!  
  
Vash and Knives: RO! SHAM! BO! SHOOT!!!!  
  
Knives: *tackles Vash and kisses him* HA! I win again!  
  
Vash: Nooo! Nothing can beat kisses...and I was going to play donut too!   
  
Kurama: They certainly have strange ways of playing rock paper scissors.  
  
Karasu: Yes, want to play their way my kitsune koi??  
  
Kurama: Grr...*whaps Karasu on the back of the head* No, I do not.  
  
Koenma: Do you guys get the feeling that we're being watched?  
  
Kuwabara: Nah, can't be! They only have those cameras in our rooms!  
  
Hiei: I think the old fart may have a point.  
  
Koenma: You call me a baby and an old fart! Make up your mind!  
  
Hiei: Hn. Your a whiney brat with an age complex.  
  
Kurama: Take it as a compliment Koenma, usually you don't get such a long insult from him.  
  
Koenma: So you are fond of me afterall Hiei!  
  
Hiei: BASTARD!! *chases after Koenma while trying to hit him with some hotel lobby wax fruit*  
  
Yusuke: Knives is undefeated in rock paper scissors! Hey...YOU CAN'T USE DONUTS OR KISSES!!!  
  
Vash: But Knives said that they were part of the game...  
  
Knives: *grins evilly* Special rules ala Knives Millions!   
  
The scene fizzles out and fizzles back into the game show set. A wrestling mat with slightly raised sides is set in the center  
and the contestants are sitting in their loveseats with bath robes on.  
  
Hostess: *dressed in referee outfit* When I say I have an idea I do not kid.  
  
Wolfwood: *eyes go wide* OH! So we are doing that eh? Hmm...  
  
Hostess: ^_^ Yes, we're doing...THE PUDDING WRESTLING TOURNAMENT IN BOXERS! For those of you who were wearing briefs...  
*shoots a look at Karasu* We have given you boxers! See? I'm not so bad!  
  
Karasu: Boxers almost feel like I'm going comando...  
  
Kurama: *winces at the image*  
  
Karasu: I see...*smirks* Comando!  
  
Kurama: Bleh! *face shows a disgusted look*  
  
Karasu: COMANDO!  
  
Kurama: That's enough! ROSE WHIP! *whips Karasu*  
  
Karasu: Lookie...comando stars...@_@  
  
Hostess: Well since there are now 4 teams left there will be two matches. I'll say what's fair and unfair and Middy will   
Anounce matches? S'alright?  
  
Audience: S'Alright! BOXERS! WHOO WHOO! SHAKE IT BISHIES!  
  
Wolfwood fan that's holy: No! Think of the orphans Nicky-chan!  
  
Wolfwood: I doubt they're watching *mischivious hentai grin towards legato*  
  
Legato: I'm in this for the pudding. _\/;;  
  
Midvalley: Let's get ready to rumble!!! First up: Kurama and Karasu Vs. Knives and Vash!!   
  
They enter the now pudding filled mat and discard their robes. Karasu has black boxers, Vash has red, Kurama has green ones  
with little white foxes printed on them, and Knives has blue lipstick kiss print boxers.  
  
Hostess: Are those printed on or did you let some of your fans have a little fun Knives?  
  
Knives: I'm not saying. *evil smile*  
  
Hostess: Alright it's simple, no hitting each other's packages because I heard that really hurts. No rose whips or other   
deadly plants from the Makai, sorry Kurama darling! *gets a glare from Karasu* And you mr.briefs, NO BOMBS! Got it? No angel  
arms and no blades that can erupt from your limbs.  
  
Contestants: Awe...but that's no fun.  
  
Hostess: Use the pudding to your advantage, winner gets to move on to the final where they will compete for a marsh badge!  
  
Audience: O_O *blink* BOO! *throw rotten tomatoes*  
  
Hostess: I meant the immunity pacifier!! Just fight already! *rings a bell*  
  
Kurama: *sits down* If it's just to stay in this game I'm not playing, my apoligies.  
  
Karasu: *sits down next to Kurama and smiles evilly* My sentiments exactly lovely fox...expecially when the voters tipped me  
on a certain loophole.  
  
Kurama: A what??  
  
Karasu: *starts to play with Kurama's hair* The sonner we get voted out the sooner I get to kill the thing I love! HA HAHAHAHA  
HAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Kurama: *jumps up and bum rushes Knives into the mat* Then I'm going to play to win!!  
  
Karasu: So this is why it's not good to reveal evil plans! *snaps his fingers* damn.  
  
Vash: You guys look like your having fun, *snickers*  
  
Knives: VASH! Help me out now! I oof! *gets his face slammed into pudding repitively*  
  
Kurama: I *SLAM* WILL *SLAM* NOT *SLAM* BE *SLAM* THAT *SLAM* PSYCHO'S *SLAM* KOI!!!  
  
Vash: OK. *jumps on top of both of them and pins Kurama down* YA HA HA HA! I'm king of the mountain!  
  
Knives: I'm blind!! Pudding has blinded me!! *grabs for something so he can help himself up*  
  
Vash: *gets his boxers pulled down* IEE! *covers himself and blushes as red as his boxers* I'm out!  
  
Knives: What? *wipes pudding out of his eyes and notices he's holding Vash's boxers* heh heh...^_^  
  
Hostess: Disqualification! This round will remain non-R rated!   
  
Midvalley: Winner is Kurama and Karasu!  
  
Karasu: I have a new plan... ^_^  
  
Kurama: *puts on a belt and smiles* No you don't!  
  
Karasu: Foiled again...  
  
Midvalley: Next match! Hiei and Koenma VS. Wolfwood and Legato!  
  
Hostess: Hiei just use brute strength, I'm afraid all your powers might be a bit overkill.  
  
Hiei: Baka ningen.  
  
Hostess: No psychic powers for Legato, Wolfwood your pretty harmless. Koenma ...well no demi-god powers and you should be   
fine. Let's get it on!  
  
Koenma: Er...how about not?  
  
Hostess: O_o!! I don't mean that way! It's just an expression!  
  
They step into the mat now with half of the pudding sloshed out. Wolfwood has black with gold crosses print boxers, Koenma has   
binky blue boxers, Hiei has white ones, and Legato has blue boxers.  
  
Wolfwood: I'm not harmless! I'm a loose cannon! Watch! *rips off his boxers* HA! Er...awe crap...  
  
Legato: CHAPEL!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?? *covers up wolfwood*  
  
Hiei: That was boring. Did we win??  
  
Midvalley: Yup. Nice butt chapel.  
  
Wolfwood: *blushing furiously* Shut up hornyfreak!  
  
Midvalley: You got it right! Wait..._ HORN!  
  
Legato: *escorts wolfwood off to get his robe back* Idiot.  
  
Wolfwood: Pig.  
  
Legato: Sexy buns.  
  
Wolfwood: What's my name?  
  
Legato: *smirks* Chapel.  
  
Wolfwood: Shit.  
  
Hostess: *clings on to PG-13 rating for dear life* It can only handle so much nudity!!  
  
Midvalley: Boss??? Oh right, final match Karasu and Kurama VS. Koenma and Hiei!  
  
Hostess: There are too many K's... go fight!  
  
All 4 bishounen jump into a giant fighting dust cloud that has pudding flying out of it. The dust cloud settles and all 4  
of the guys are lying down nearly unconscious.  
  
Hostess: Um..first one standing wins!  
  
Kurama: *stands up wobbily and coughs out some pudding* Chocolate pudding doesn't taste half bad.  
  
Karasu: HAHAHAHAHAHA! *pantses Kurama and collapses*  
  
Audience: O_O;;   
  
Rabid Kurama Fans: KURAAAAAAAMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! *some faint and the rest stampede towards Kurama*  
  
Kurama: Oh my. *runs*  
  
Random girl from fanta commercial: *stun guns the mob of rabid fans* No touchy!  
  
Hostess: Kurama and Karasu win! So I guess that's this week's show! The couples are really narrowing down folks! This week's  
voting is:  
  
Karasu and Kurama (Immune this round!!)  
Koenma and Hiei  
Wolfwood and Legato  
Knives and Vash  
  
Only 3 more rounds of voting! And only two more immunity challenges since it would be stupid to do one with only two teams  
left. But I've got something special planned for 'em! *grin* A kiss goodnight from the Yaoi game!! *waves*  
  
Midvalley: Goodnight!!  
  
Now's my chance. While the lights are flashing randomly on stage and the credits roll!  
  
Hosting, all the stuff almost: Ale  
  
The mysterious set and actions describer, me, makes their way to the stage.  
  
Announcer: Midvalley  
  
I'm running towards that darn hostess and announcer who get credit. Midvalley has gone into the audience but the hostess is  
still standing there writing notes.  
  
Things Not Owned: Sabado Gigante (a variety entertainment show in spanish on one of those worldwide spanish channels), any   
of the mentioned wrestling phrases, Marsh badge (pokemon is evil..), and the boxers (I know people who own all of em except  
Kurama's and Wolfwood's).  
  
I know I could of gotten more credit for kidnapping hornboy, but people have to realize there can't be 'The Yaoi Game' without  
the hostess. Right?   
  
Special Thanks To: Sailorspazz (who almost gave me a heart attack for reviewing so quickly after the last chappie), Lily   
Kalonoa (who reminded me of the loophole, very important loophole that the authoress no baka forgot X_x), ah-ha! (for liking  
the leggy licking vash's arm gag), Princess of Donut Land (she defended Kuwabara's right to being a bishie, that deserves   
recognition in my book!), lunny (for making me ponder about the K names conspiracy), Pyrosprite64 ( for giving my fingers  
a much needed stretch when I tried to copy her siggy's hand sign), Akima Wingates Mabius (she used the term 'never in a   
million years'!! ^_^), Setsu-kun (for trying to provide Karasu with a buddy in the cold evenings), Sakura Naoko (saying wuuv  
and not reminding me of barney while doing so! yay!), Lady BlackDragonFire (BDF!! I'll take care of any therapy you guys   
need from seeing Kuwa shirtless, IF you give me a copy of that tape ^_~), Makenai (making the hornfreak feel loved), and   
Cathowl (who I'm wishing the best of luck with their Mary Sue!)....whoa mouthful of thanks.  
  
*Mysterious and just plain odd actions and set describer picks up the hostess and runs off carrying her on his shoulder*  
  
Hostess: KISAMA!!  
  
Describer: Your not japanese!!!  
  
Hostess: Fine...BASTARD! HELP HELP!! FOR CRYING OUT LOUD HELP!!  
  
Pudding provided by: Milly, who can't remember where she got the pudding from.  
  
Midvalley: Hmm? *watches hostess being carried off kicking and screaming* I'm sure she'll be fine...  
  
-------------------------------------------------  
  
*screams final notes before being carried out of earshot*  
  
Remember to vote and review!! Any ideas? Go ahead and try em out on me! I'm always open minded! Until next time! ADIOS AMIGO  
DARLINGS!!!  
  
-Love Peace and Mushrooms-  
Ale  
  
------------------------------------------------- 


	6. Round 6: Desperate Siblings

The Yaoi Game!  
  
Round 6: Farewell Three Eyes...  
  
  
Authoress's Note: Writing in script format for a short funky story is much different then writing for a graphic novel project  
you're trying to tackle along with being a full time high school student. So, most likely I'll finish up this game since it's  
almost through and then really drop in the ammount of times I update other stories. I hear cheering and what I hope is   
dissapointed sighs...awe...it was just bad taquitos... ^_^ Yes I do a better job of scripting for my project than I do here...  
  
Anyways thanks for the reviews! You guys are hilarious in 'em! Thank you darlings...let's see doo doo doo...  
Why do I feel I'm forgetting something?? *gets hit in the head with a tomato*  
  
Tomato: I am the magical speaking tomato of story conveince! here to wram you about copyrights! COPYRIGHTS WOMAN COPYRIGHTS!  
  
Authoress: *squashes the tomato for a nice topping for my cup-o-noodles* Right, I don't own the darling sexay bishies.  
No matter how much I may want to...who throws the tomatos anyways?  
  
The various creators of the anime charcters I ever used: We'll destroy all the crazy authors!! ALL OF THEM! We're geniuses  
not you!   
  
Authoress: But..  
  
TVCOACIEU: NO! We own them not you!  
  
Authoress: What they said... *pouts and sits in a corner drawing angry sketches* Angst angst angst...bwahahaha angst is a   
funny word!  
  
----------------------------------------  
  
The set's the same, yes we did manage to clean all the pudding. Hungry contestants can be so useful. The hostess is gone!  
Muahahahahahahaahhaha! I got rid of her! I got rid of the hostess....I! Hey!!  
  
Hostess: Hi Hi! ^_^  
  
How'd you get there??  
  
Hostess: *sitting in her chair* simple darling I...hey that reminds me narrating voice! Your fired!  
  
But....*sniffle* I JUST WANTED SOME CREDIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   
  
Hostess: How about I give you a date with hornyfreak?  
  
Midvally: O_O What if their a guy???  
  
What about with Kurama?  
  
Hostess: Don't push your luck. Who are you anyways?  
  
HIIIII!!!!! IT'S ME JANE MARI!!!!! You can't kill off magical girls that easily silly poopie head!!! *dances on the studio  
set* Aren't I kawaii???  
  
Midvalley: *hides in a group of his fans in the audience*  
  
Hostess: *twitch* FREE CANDY AND SODA TO ANYONE WHO KILLS THE ANNOYING THING!  
  
A swarm of people start charging towards me. Wait a second...uh-oh....I don't have my plastic wand of justice!! WAI WAI WAI!  
I'm running awaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!  
  
Midvalley: *peeks from behind a fangirl* Whoose narrator now?  
  
Hostess: You do it, I need an aspirin. Oh right! Who got voted off.....*dramatic pause for 4 minutes* DUN DUN DUN  
LOVELY LITTLE HIEI AND PACIFIER BOY COME ON DOWN!!  
  
Hiei: Will you give me back my sword now?  
  
Koenma: There goes my bet with George...*hugs his pacifier* PA PA!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! *giant streams of tears*  
  
Hostess: Uh sure here's your sword....*gives Hiei a plastic replica of his*  
  
Hiei: Hn. That's more like it- HEY! WHERE'S MY SWORD??? BAKA NINGEN!!! WHERE??  
  
Hostess: Well you see a friend's birthday came up and...I kind of...sort of...sold it. _  
  
Hiei: *evil glare* Grr.... DIE! *starts to whack the hostess over the head with the fake sword*  
  
Hostess: OW! I'm OW sorry OW hey OOWWWW quit it! OUCH!   
  
Koenma: Do we get a consolation prize?  
  
Midvalley: Um...*digs into his pockets and pulls out some letters* here are the votes, have fun! ^_^  
  
Koenma: WAH?? *pacifier drops from his mouth* IT WAS A LANDSIDE?? But aren't I bishounen enough? *gives a pouty bish look to  
the audience*  
  
Koenma Fans: AWE!!! WE'LL CHEER YOU UP!! *hentai grins*  
  
Koenma: O_O Igottogetbacktotherekainowsohehheh...BYE!!!!! *runs off*  
  
Hostess: OW...hey...Ouch! Hiei! GAH! KOENMA HAD SWEET SNOW!! *winces*  
  
Hiei: *stops mid whacking* Sweet snow???? *twitches and blurs off after Koenma*  
  
Midvalley: You really need that aspirin now, huh?  
  
Hostess: @_@ si senor hornyfreak...*stumbles off stage* No immunties but get the bishies up here....ay mi cabeza...  
  
Midvalley: Only three couples left...*flips through notecards* So that means no immunity? I was starting to enjoy those too!  
  
Midvalley fans: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo *sniffles*  
  
Midvalley: Awe girls I'm still a lady's man! ^_~  
  
Rabid Midvalley Fans: WOOOOO!!!! Go horny go freak go horny freak!  
  
Midvalley: -_-;; It's HORN. Since we only have three couples left and they have to walk from the hotel to the studio today.  
The old narrator hijacked the bus with pink glitter. We're going to do a special behind the scenes: The Yaoi and Yuri Game.  
  
*starts using a narrator-ish tone of voice* Dramatic music plays as a giant screen comes down and the lights go out.  
  
Clicking the projector so the movie starts.  
  
Movie voice: *while images of all the contestants are shown* They came from two animes having no clue what was going on.  
Well Karasu, Knives, and Wolfwood knew. Go figure. AHEM. The truely bishounen and *picture of kuwabara shows up* the not so  
bishounen. Then the hostess felt sexist so she invited the girls down here too. Hey I thought "whoo! That'll be fun!" No one  
listens to the guy who voice overs the behind the scenes video so...yes. Here is a never seen before ACTUAL scene type thing.  
Ignore the scripts in the people's hands...they're an illusion...diddly dum diddly dum diddly dum...  
  
Midvalley: *sweatdrops heavily*   
  
Movie voice: It was a regular day when something went very wrong...  
  
*clip starts rolling*  
  
Knives: *glances down at the script and says with an annoyed tone* Vash I'm actually Rem in disguise!  
  
Vash: *in monotone voice from reading* No way knives...that makes no sense... sniffle sniffle don't make fun of Rem.  
  
Meryl: Idiot. Your supposed to sniffle not say it!  
  
Vash: Sorry should I try again?  
  
Kurama: Please don't.  
  
Knives: Ha ha! It is true peace boy. What the?? O_o How am I supposed to take off a knives mask 'ala scooby doo' style to show   
that I'm Rem?? This isn't a mask!!  
  
Yusuke: *tries pulling off knive's face* You sure? I could of sworn I saw some wrinkles!!  
  
Rabid Knives fans: KNIVES SAMA HAS NO WRINKLES!!! *stampede over yusuke and vanish*  
  
Yusuke: *twitch* oww...  
  
Keiko: Serves you right Yusuke!   
  
Legato: Master should we finish the script?  
  
Knives: This stupid spider script... *grabs a Rem wig and makes his voice high pitched* My little vashie washie! Give Remmy  
wemmy a big hug!  
  
Vash: *gave up on the script but has a sparkly look in his eyes.* REM?? I THOUGHT YOU DIED!! Wow how did that script writer  
know you were disguised as Knives?? *glomps "Rem"*  
  
Knives: Woman's intuition? *smirks and starts to grope vash*  
  
Vash: GAH!!! Your not Rem!  
  
Kuwabara: *pulls off the wig* AHHH! It's a dude! I thought Rem was cute too...  
  
Vash: *pounds Kuwabara on the head* Knives how could you?  
  
Hostess: *pops in* PERFECT! I love this real drama! It's shibby!!! ^___^!!  
  
Legato: Can I get a raise if I kill her?  
  
Midvalley: A raise?? Hey!  
  
Kuroneko: nyao!  
  
Knives: only for a day... *under his breath* idiots I pay them by the month...  
  
Hostess: Crap..... *runs like hell*  
  
Movie Voice: That's *dramatic music* Behind the scenes: The Yaoi and Yuri game!   
  
Midvalley: *turns the lights back on and the 3 couples are now in their seats* Wasn't that fun??  
  
Vash: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHAHAHAHA! Knives looked like Rem!  
  
Knives: *growls and then grins* Hmm... I wonder... VASH A DONUT LIKE NO OTHER!  
  
Vash: A what? *looks around*  
  
Knives: *put on Rem wig* Vash! Oh my darling little Vash!  
  
Vash: *teary eyed* REM!!! WAH!!! *glomps Knives*  
  
Knives: hee hee... *winks at the other contestants*  
  
Karasu: Kurama...I have a Shiori wig back in our room... *hentai grin*  
  
Kurama: I do not wish to know how you even got a wig like that!! *glare*  
  
Wolfwood: *pulls at legato's hair* hot buns your wig doesn't come off!  
  
Legato: Damn it Chapel! It's not a wig! Hot buns??  
  
Wolfwood: Awe come on...you loved it last night ^_~  
  
Legato: O_O I have no idea what your talking about chapel!  
  
Wolfwood: Say my name say my name!  
  
Midvalley: I'm going to puke.  
  
Kuroneko: Nyao!  
  
Midvalley: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Get away you perverted cat!! *kicks it into the audience*  
  
Hostess: Anyone miss me? ^_^  
  
Contestants: No.  
  
Hostess: ;_; I'm hurt. This is the thanks I get for lending you those fantano costumes?  
  
Legato: Rip up the contract and I can REALLY show you my appreciation then.  
  
Hostess: Note to self...get many security guards...  
  
Kurama: So what do we do this time? There are no immunity rounds...  
  
Hostess: Well I've been researching ideas...  
  
Midvalley: So that what you were doing with these! *hands the hostess back a stack of doujinshi's*  
  
Kurama: Aren't those...  
  
Hostess: Doujinshi? yes, sorry lovely kitsune but look at yourself in that cute little outfit there! It's so shibby and  
darling!!   
  
Karasu: Hmm...*plays with Kurama's hair* Do you still have that little number lovely fox of mine?  
  
Hostess: Wait! I'm supposed to do something right now...*looks in past votes*  
  
Midvalley: More fanservice towards Makenai for always stroking my hair? ^_^  
  
Hostess: That and...here it is! Ooof! *gets buried under a truckload of sweets*  
  
Kurama: *looks at the notecard and grins evilly* Let me see your wrist.  
  
Karasu: It's a start...huh? what's this??  
  
Kurama: According to this card a princess of donut land has now bugged you so you should be zapping in 3...2...  
  
Karasu: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! *cough* O_O _ nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!  
  
Vash: Princess of donut land? Rem! Rem! Can we go to donut land?  
  
Knives: *slips into his regular voice* Yeah sure.. I mean! *high pitched* Of course little vash!  
  
Vash: Rem are you catching a cold...?  
  
Knives: er...yes? ^__^;;  
  
Vash: POOR REM!! ;_; *hugs Knives even tighter*  
  
Wolfwood: They're more kinky then us bluesie buns.  
  
Legato: Hush your infernal yapping chapel.  
  
Hostess: So now all you have to do is fanservice!  
  
Audience: FANSERVICE FANSERVICE! FANSERVICE!  
  
Karasu: How about kill the hostess service?? *ZAP* O_X I didn't touch my koi!  
  
Kurama: I'm not your koi...  
  
Hostess: You were thinking about it, tsk tsk tsk such a little hentai mind Karasu! So now to come up with a challenge to figure  
out the winners in the next round...since they'll be two left then. So hmm...  
  
Vash: I have Rem and I'm so happy...and....er...Rem...why are you rubbing my bottom??  
  
Knives: All the better to feel you up with my dear!  
  
Vash: *pulls off wig* It's old mr.jenkins!!   
  
Legato: rooby rooooo! rhee hee hee hee!  
  
Wolfwood: Too much scooby doo...  
  
Knives: I'm not old! Well...according to you stupid spider's years I am but I'm still as riley as the rest of them!  
  
Vash: I'm going to go to my fans now... ;_;  
  
Wolfwood: NOOOO! VASH!!! THATS SUICIDE!!  
  
Midvalley: *plays death march on his saxophone*  
  
Knives: VASH YOU IDIOT! *blows up the audience*  
  
Hostess: *blinks* I'm so glad we put the voters in a different section...HEY! I thought we made it so you couldn't do  
that anymore!!  
  
Knives: *blinks* So did I...oh well...here spider spider spider....*grins maniacally at the hostess*  
  
Hostess: AHH! Um...um! AHA! *jumps into Vash's arms* You can't blow up your love bunny! so nyah!  
  
Vash: *tries to shove he hostess off* Knives don't shoot yet! I don't want to be blown to smithereens!  
  
Knives: Bah! She has to let go sometime...I'll be waiting...*death glare*  
  
The voting shibby lounge booth above where the audience used to be...  
  
All the muses: Wow...^____^  
  
BDF: Do you think they're going to kill her?  
  
Kimchi: I don't know...ahh! Can't resist urge to...AAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!  
  
Princess of Donut Land: That was a vash laugh! Poor Vash he looks so traumitized...go Knives-sama!! *gets raised eyebrows*  
I'm a loyal pet! *sticks her tongue out*  
  
Nanuri: I still have to take vash to vegas! *pounds on the glass* Don't dent him!!  
  
BDF: I really wanted to see how this was going to end! Bad bishies! Don't kill her yet!  
  
All others: *drooling over last episode's video of boxer pudding wrestling* ooohhhh....ahhhhhh.... *_* (note: too many names  
to give you all lines sorry)  
  
Back on stage...  
  
Vash: Are you going to let go anytime soon?  
  
Hostess: And be killed? No thanks!   
  
Karasu: *tries to take off the wristband*...I got OWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!! It zapped me again!! _  
  
Kurama: Serves you right ^__^  
  
Midvalley: This week the voting goes:  
  
Vash and Knives  
Wolfwood and Legato  
Kurama and Karasu  
  
Happy voting! The hostess apoligizes for taking so long to become unkidnapped to make this episode!  
  
Hostess: Roll them shibby credits!  
  
Hostess Writer and doomed: Ale  
  
*Midvalley sweeps up the ashes of the audience*  
  
Co-host and narrator: Midvalley the Hornfreak (hornyfreak or whorefreak)  
  
Midvalley: Hey!  
  
Special thanks to: Lady BDF (drools over kuwabara cut out tape), Eikichi (long live code red!), Nanuri (vegas is cold this   
time of year ^_^), Princess of Donut Land (CANDY!!!), Kiyoshi (my computer's been on the fritz so I couldn't review but cool  
story!), Sakura (Legato wato is hot...^_^), Makenai (you might be the only reason horn boy's still on my side), Lily (for  
grabbing Hiei after he got out of the studio, have fun with him!), Rachia (I couldn't fit in bishies in drag this time ;_;),  
Pyro (yet another finger strech, they help when you have to wear a wrist splint...ah relief), Cathowl (who has to deal with a  
Mary Sue), Geuna (for a short and sweet review), Lunny (the chibi idea was great but I didn't want to seem like I was copying  
a whole bunch of other chibi fics out there. Just me being paranoid), Spazz (good luck with your japanese! lucky you get to learn  
that shibby language!)  
  
Midvalley: Maybe I should get more saxophone air time...  
  
Wolfwood: If you find someone who likes your music sure.  
  
Legato: That wasn't nice wolf.....chapel.  
  
Wolfwood: ;_; SOO CLOSE!! I'll get you to yell out my name yet lovely!  
  
Legato: Er... _;;;  
  
--------------------------------------------------  
  
Remember to vote, sorry it took so long but with my computer messing up and my school work. You know how it goes!  
Reviews are shibby! ^_^ Remember that this is most likely the last chance you get to vote. Yup it is! Make it count! And stay  
tuned for the last two installements of.....  
*trumpet fare*  
  
THE YAOI GAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
-Love Peace and Mushrooms-  
Ale 


	7. Round 7: Back to Smithereens

The Yaoi Game!  
  
Round 7: Back to Smithereens.  
  
Ale note: Goodness me droogies it's been a while! You can all proceed to kill me...*runs and hides behind a brick wall* Now!  
  
Creators of all the characters I ever used: No legal consequences! GET HER!!! She defiled our creations!  
  
*eyes go wide in shock and runs to the root cellar* you know the drill! I own nothing! Nothing!!! Leave me be C.O.A.T.C.I.E.U.! Leave me be! Hey.wait a second.  
  
Where did this cellar come from? Awe no.  
  
*camera goes to clack and white and a close up of the upper half of my face is shown* I'm scared.so scared. Those creators have sharp pens.filled with ink.OH GOD NOT INK! I'd like to thank *banging on the door* ZC and Ace (neo- aries144) for inspiring me to finish off my little fic. *angry yelling of the words rutabaga and cabbages from behind the door* I'm so scared.so scared! AND YES! I ADMIT IT! A BLAIR WITCH PROJECT PARODY IS A REALLY OLD AND OVERUSED IDEA BY NOW!! AHHHHH!!! *camera fizzles out*  
  
The set is filled with spider webs, all the contestants are bolted to their respective couches with metal restraints. Wait.Oh my god. They're skeletons!!! Bosses! Noo!  
  
Hostess: *walks in yawning* who has awakened me from my ancient slum.oh no.I forgot to feed them! Why didn't you do it Hornyfreak co- host/narrator??  
  
Midvalley: *is poking the skeletons* It wasn't my job. You're the one that abandoned them for so long.  
  
Hostess: But.but.what about the ratings?? The ratings man! We can't get any with dead contestants! *light bulb pops up above her head* I got it! I'll use the matrix!  
  
Midvalley: Riiight, this from the girl who only saw half of the TV version of the first movie. *grabs the light bulb* my groupies better not be dead.  
  
Hostess: Oh yes heaven forbid the loss of your mother and granny.*Midvalley whacks her over the head with his saxophone* Ow.dude.wait.dude! DUDE! That's it! I'll use the one Keanu movie I've seen loads of times! Whorefreak!  
  
Midvalley: Horn.HORN! See? Horn type instrument in my hand! Not a whore! Not a horny! Hornyness isn't even a tangible object! I would like the whore though.  
  
Hostess: Well that's why you're Hornyfreak! The mighty! Come with me perverted one! To a phone booth! *Midvalley grumbles and comes along as they find a near to shambles phone booth behind the ashes of the old audience area* We go back in time.and start the show from where we left off.  
  
Midvalley: Or we could declare me the winner and I could go to Las Vegas! What? It's not a horrible idea.  
  
Hostess: .I'll mention it to your bosses. *Goes in the phone booth and starts punching numbers in*  
  
Midvalley: WAIT! *jumps in* You need a narrator.  
  
The phone booth turns blue, and then green, then pink, then a sort of yellow color.ah screw it. It turns into a lot of colors and poofs away with a cheap movie effect. Time goes streaking past! Hours! Days! Months! Oh right we're stopping after months.  
  
Hostess: I'm going to hire a new narrator. *Phone Booth crashes next to the audience still in tact* What is this? How far did we go back?  
  
Other hostess and narrator from this actual time seem to be busy. Otherwise our hero and his annoying female co-host could ask as to where.  
  
Hostess: SHUT IT!  
  
Vash: I'm going to my fans now.;_;  
  
Wolfwood: Noooo! Vash! That's suicide!!  
  
Hostess: Hey Whorefreak, isn't this what happened right before.oh crap.  
  
Midvalley (from past): *plays death march on his saxophone*  
  
Knives: VASH YOU ID-  
  
Hostess: OI HOSTESS REMEMBER TO FEED THEM! Hold me Hornyfreak I'm frightened!  
  
Midvalley is passed out now and can't answer you. Err.his still being able to narrate is a mystery.*makes voice sound wavy* MyStErY..  
  
Hostess: Oh fu-  
  
Knives: IOT! *blows up the audience, hostess from the future, and Midvalley from the future*  
  
Hostess: Did I just hear my own voice telling me don't forget to feed them? Wait a second.You're not supposed to do that! How were you able to do that? I disabled you guys from using your powers!!  
  
The hostess shakes in fear as my boss's boss starts to grin wickedly and point his mutated arm thing of doom at her. She jumps into Vash's arms like a coward! HAHAHAHA!  
  
Hostess: Shut up.  
  
Vash: Knives.don't be hasty now, I'll put her down and then you can shoot at her. OK? O.o;;  
  
Hostess: Neh? But you're all about love and peace! Saving butterflies and spiders! Where's the compassion?  
  
Vash: Next to the memories of a bum I could sit on without pain. -_-  
  
Scandalous revelation from the donut brain!  
  
Hostess: *holds on for dear life* NOOOO! You can't kill me! The votes are due by now!  
  
Legato: More votes already?  
  
Wolfwood: *winks at legato* You know you looove it blue boy of sexyness.*leers at him*  
  
Legato: Master! Master! Please after you exterminate the lowly human girl get rid of Wolfwood!  
  
A hush falls upon the studio.  
  
Legato: Why did.oh no.oh.*twitches*  
  
Wolfwood: YOU SAID MY NAME HOT BUNS! *glomps Legato and starts to kiss him*  
  
Vash: I can never look at Nicholas the same way again.  
  
Kurama: Could this be the reason of why he likes to keep a cigarette in his mouth so much?  
  
Karasu: You bitch *ZAP* *gets thoroughly charred and coughs out smoke* But what if I told you the pain felt really REALLY good my precious fox.*ZAP*  
  
Kurama: Lies! It's a lie! You hate the pain! You have too!  
  
Karasu starts to scoot over towards Kurama on the couch, hair shooting up every minute or so due to the shocks from his wrist band.  
  
Karasu: *leers at Kurama and pins him to the couch* The pain is delicious my love, I'll gladly share it with you.  
  
Hostess: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!  
  
Midvalley: What the?  
  
The hostess has been lassoed and is now being flung up into the voter's booth. Knives is pointing his nasty looking arm-  
  
Legato: *glares at Midvalley sending shivers down his spine* .  
  
I mean! Magnificent arm! He is pointing it towards the booth!  
  
Vash: STOP! Knives! They are tons of innocent people up there!  
  
Knives: Innocent? They're the reason why your little bottom hurts so badly.  
  
Vash: *blushes* Yeah.but they give me donuts.  
  
Meanwhile back in the voter's booth.  
  
Hostess: Thank you! Thank you! *bows down to the voters* You saved my life!  
  
The voters give annoyed looks to the hostess, some even tapping a foot with their arms crossed.  
  
Hostess: Meep?  
  
Voter: We were dragged back in time with your phone booth. You could have warned us the voting booth went into suspended animation after a month! It was horrible.the lights started flashing like crazy! The lovely bishies were grabbed and locked down to the couches! Midvalley was playing his saxophone!  
  
Another voter: Hey! That was a good thing!  
  
Voter: Whatever. Then this strange liquid filled the room and the next thing we know we're traveling back in time and bumping our past selves out of this world!  
  
Yet another voter: Yesss.the pressssciousss bishiesss were brought to harm.  
  
Hostess: Wait.but how did I abandon the show in the first place? And how come I didn't this time? Voter: I would explain the actual reason but instead I will confuse you utterly. Rosebud.  
  
Hostess: What??  
  
All the voters: Rosebud.Rosebud.Rosebud! ROSEBUD! ROSEBUD!  
  
15 minutes later.  
  
Voters: ROSEBUD!  
  
Voter: Enough. Show her.the film.  
  
Voters: *gasp*  
  
Voter: Oh don't gasp at me! Just do it.  
  
The hostess gets dragged to the couch and is wrapped into a straight jacket. Her eyes are clamped open with a voter putting eye drops in every minute or so. A film is projected onto the wall.  
  
Voice of Jane Mari: A friend, a lover, a ball of fur that popped up everywhere. Tonight we celebrate the life and career of.Kuroneko. The Green Eyed monster of entertainment!  
  
Hostess: No! No! It's a sin! A SIN! Stop!!! Where are my few loyal voters??  
  
Another Voter: Manning the projector.  
  
Hostess: -_-;; STOP!!  
  
But it didn't stop. No no, it continued for an hour. An hour filled with that demonic big eyed freak of nature.damn.  
  
Kuroneko (in the movie): Nyao!  
  
Hostess: *is taken out of the eye clamps and straight jacket and collapses to the floor twitching and foaming at the mouth.* nyao.nyao..nyao.nyao.  
  
Voter: Put the device on her and send her back out with the gifts.  
  
Another Voter: Are you sure that's wise -  
  
Voter: Hush! We speak of no names here! Quickly! And then.we.party! Party like its 2003!  
  
Voter: Wait.it is 2003, never mind. Just crack out the soda and *snicker* sweet snow! ^_^  
  
And so a simple mind control device was placed on the hostess and she marched back bearing gifts. Knives meanwhile made Legato warp a chunk of my saxophone into a crown. That no good stupid.  
  
Knives: SILENCE! You shall refer to me only as lord and master and eliminator of humanity KNIVES. If I see a lower case ever used for my name again I'll kill you for your insolence!  
  
Then tell me KNIVES, why do you keep human lackeys around all the time?  
  
KNIVES: Well.um.KNIVES DOES NOT NEED TO ANSWER TO YOU! Worthless spider! I will grace you with this answer however: Irony.  
  
Legato claps, *cough* saxophone killer *cough* and Vash gazes at Wolfwood who was tied into a human knot without being killed. Karasu kicks the air from his bird eye view of being hung by the waist from the ceiling. Kurama is looking less than happy, he was so shocked he grew several inches taller, sprouted tails, grew dog ears, hair turned white, and eyes turned yellow. We have too many yellow eyed people. AHH! Both with equally creepy stares! Stop that! Stop staring! Oh there's the hostess.  
  
Hostess: Nyao. *twitch* Gifts. For. You.  
  
Voter: Speed up the speech!  
  
Hostess: Gatheraroundandgettheselovelylittleparcelsdarlingsthevotersaregenerousthevot ersarekindthevotersloveyou!!!!  
  
The contestants: O.o *blink blink*  
  
Voter: Slower nimrod! I'm sorry  
  
Hostess: Gifts, lots of gifts from the shabby sha wa voters of course! Candy for all from Princess of donut land *throws out a bag that hits Karasu in the stomach before dropping to the floor*  
  
Karasu: Get me down from here! Precious! Precious! Shake that lovely butt of yours and get your vines to drop me!  
  
Youko Kurama: If there wasn't a contract that was keeping me from killing you I gladly would right now.  
  
Karasu: I love it when you get kinky, love. *vines get tighter* Ooh! More more! Hahahahahaha.  
  
Kuruma twitches, his eye will pop out at this rate.  
  
Hostess: Hiei is still being held by generous voter Lily, which is good. Voters should get all bishies..*twitch* Donuts to Vash *twitch* AHHHHHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA! *twitch*  
  
Voter: Who is messing with the controls?  
  
Vash: How did she get my laugh to come from her voice?  
  
KNIVES: I don't know.give over the gifts for the great KNIVES or die!  
  
Hostess: *throws donuts at Vash's head* Donut perfume *twitches and voice changes* too woo Vash! *twitches and voice goes back to normal* and a box of lubricants and other fun things. *sets the box and perfume at KNIVES's feet*  
  
Knives: As new ruler of this show I ban the use of capitals in names besides for the first letter. Also, I declare this episode over and that Vash retreats to our room with me. *perverted grin*  
  
Vash: *while eating a donut* AHH! My butt!  
  
Wolfwood: Butt? Blue wonder lover! *bounces on the couch as best as a human knot can* untie me baby! Your Wolfwood needs some TLC.  
  
Legato: *stares at Wolfwood who collapses off the couch*  
  
Hostess: Nyao. Nyao. Nyao. Nyao. Nyao. NYAO!!!!! AHHHHHHH!!! HOSTESS MAD! *bashes my head onto the floor and breaks the device* FREE!  
  
Voter: Damn. She got away this time. The bishies will be ours my fellow voters.they will be ours.  
  
Knives: SILENCE! You! *points down to the hostess* annoying spider that I should have someone break all the bones you own! Who was voted off for this??  
  
Hostess: oh! *digs out the votes and counts them* It was a tie! So as head of this show I have to choose-  
  
Knives: NAY! I shall choose.  
  
Hostess: Since when did you start talking weird?  
  
Knives: Since when did I say you could speak? Ahem! *grabs the votes and examines them*  
  
Hostess: Hey! Stupid plant.  
  
And now the egotistical madman will make a decision as to who gains freedom from this show. Who will leave? Legato and Wolfwood, or Kurama and Karasu??? Do I actually care? Not really.  
  
Knives: Yes the couple to leave will be-  
  
There's a huge crash from backstage! Through the giant neon Yaoi and Yuri Game sign leaps out a figure! A small figure.a.pink figure. Sigh of annoyance.  
  
Jane Mari: BRAINS! BRAINS! BRAINS AND..sunshine highlighting my perfect locks of hair, radiating off my sapphire eyes to make them look like deep pools of the ocean.  
  
Hostess: Your zombiefied, great. Just great! Look take your little pink frills and get your butt out of here.  
  
Jane Mari: Not just zombiefied but evolved! As the perfect character of everyone's dreams I become more powerful by being reincarnated into a body that's already of my age or of an age that works best for me! I can never die! Now taste pink glitter boom boom boom boom pretty heart smash bomb!  
  
Hostess: Boom boom boom boom, I want you in my room.AHHHHHHHH! Even the name is cute and evil because it makes you remember that annoying song!  
  
Jane Mari: *strikes a pose and starts glowing bright pink* That's right! Hee hee! Now face my wrath inferior species!  
  
Vash: She's starting to sound like you Knives.  
  
Knives: This is making me look really bad.  
  
Jane Mari: *pink hearts start buzzing around her like mad* PINK..GLITTER..BOOM BOOM BOOM-  
  
To be continued.  
  
Will Jane Mari eliminate the contestants and hostess? Who is the mysterious voter who banded the voters together into a voter's organization of doom? Will that annoying little girl choke on her own pink hearts? And will anyone ever learn that time travel is just a stupid idea? These answers and more on the next.  
  
Voter: Don't say it! The Yaoi and Yuri Game Z!  
  
Hostess: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
  
*Terminator 2 theme song plays for the credits*  
  
Hostess, writer, and provider of inside jokes and parodies that are odd: Ale  
  
Co-host and Narrator: Midvalley the hornywhorefreak.  
  
Midvalley: I give up.  
  
Special thanks to: Anyone who will still review even after my long absence. All the people that have reviewed, 70! Wow.I feel loved! Those who have given great ideas along the way and those who may do so in the future! Also may I note that I did plan on just having 2 more chapters including this one. Seems like it wants to go continue for 2 more chapters not including this one. No need to vote, you can voice an opinion on who you think should win the tie and leave the show. Yes, I may be influenced. Easily so I'm afraid. The next update will not take months I promise.  
  
So! So Long for now from The Yaoi Game! MUAH! *blows a kiss and gets slapped with a copyright infringement from the dating game* ow!  
  
-Love, Peace, and Butterfly Watcher- Ale 


End file.
